But I NEED to
She is controlling.
She's TOO emotional.
She used to be a total freaking druggie. Hardcore. She
started doing drugs and alcohol and all that nonsense before all
her brain cells were fully developed. Since she never fully went
through a recovery program, her brain never caught up to
her age. So it's like I'm living with a freaking 17 year
old girl that does nothing but whine and scream about how much
she hates her life and all this bullcrap.
She never does ANYTHING.
She never cooks.
She never cleans.
She puts EVERYTHING on me. It's not fair whatsoever.
I'm freaking 15. I should have a life. Not this mess I'm
living in with my insane mom.
My sister practically emancipated herself from the woman.
She used to have boyfriends that would BEAT my siblings. (before
I was born)
She had to have my brother live with her parents so he
wouldn't get abused anymore.
My sister finally told someone about my mom's boyfriend
abusing her so they put her in foster care.
They still don't talk.
When I was in 5th grade, my parents had a relapse and started
doing cocaine. They almost died from an overdose, plus I guess
their little dealer-guy, or "life ruiner", as I call
him poisoned it.
My mom lied to me and said my dad was in the hospital just
because he was super sick and he couldn't talk on the phone
because he was so tired.
He was in the hospital.
Once they got him stable, the cops came and took him straight to
jail. He was there for 5 days.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO HAVE TO GO WITH YOUR PARENTS TO
THE PROBATION OFFICE FOR DRUG TESTS?!
For a freaking 5th grader, that's traumatizing as eff.
But. Enough about that.
She's just a witch.
They're clean now.
He has no heart at all.
He hardly cares at ALL about my feelings.
He's pretty freaking selfish.
He doesn't make an effort to see me at all.
When he does, he takes it for granted.
Not to mention, he takes ME for granted.
Do you know how much other stuff I could be doing other than
stressing over him?
When I told him about how my mom and I don't get along, (not
in detail), he said "That's too bad. But you should
probably fix whatever you're doing wrong."
What. The. Mother.
He makes fun of me all the time.
He just doesn't freaking care.
Yeah. My dog went into labor today.
My mom freaked out. Got too impatient. Almost killed the new
I tried to calm my mom down. I speak so nice to her when she is
"You know what? You best shut the f*ck up because I am so
sick and tired of you today so just leave me the hell
Ooooooooookay, you do your thing..
There is just so much freaking more.
But. I'm glad.
Cause I have things to be thankful for..
My best friend:
She does everything for me, with me, and because of me.
I love her so much.
We can relate.
We . Are. Freaking. Soul. Sisters.
She puts up with my crazy mood fits, like this.
She is one in a million and the best thing that's ever
happened to me.
Gah. I'm crying now.
The man. Is the best.
Without him? I dunno where the freaking mother I would be.
He went through recovery programs from all his 'wild
And you know what?
He turned out perfect.
He is my other best friend.
He teaches me so much.
About life, about boys, about stupid people like my mother, even
about pigeons. (:
He supports me through EVERY little thing.
I love you, daddy. <3
The OTHER boy:
He. Is. Perfect.
I know it's wrong.
But when I talk to my boyfriend, all I can think about is
He's everything I need right now.
He helps me through everything, whether he knows it or
I've liked him for soooo long.
He just didn't know it.
And then the boyfriend thing.
And now it's kinda weird.
I think..no, I know it will work out somehow.
We kinda speak the same language.
I honestly do think he gets me better than anyone.
He's suuuper funny and SO sweet.
He's pretty much my best guy friend.
When I'm around him or talk to him, I can't help but
smile the whole entire time.
I think I've vented a little too much.
I just didn't know what to do.
I still don't.
But who cares.
I'm a teenage girl.
This is how we are.