Quotes added on Tuesday, September 11 2012

 

 

Dear sidewalk,
please get wider.  . .   
sincerely, third  friend  walking  behind feeling excluded.




R.I.P to all those who lost their lives on September 11, 2001

Pray for the brave families who lost someone.

You strong families and victims will forever have a place in my heart.

"That moment when you realize all you've ever wanted was right there across the room in your english class"
I saw this quote and it brought back memories of someone I don't want to remember. He used to sit directly across from me in English class and we would stare at each other all the time. I thought he was going to be my future, that he was the one I truly wanted. That is, until he used me, broke my heart, then blackmailed me. I've moved on since then to the most perfect boy ever. Or at least I thought I moved on. Every time I see that boy from English, all the feelings come rushing back. I feel the need to hug him, touch him, or just be near him. I guess I never really had the time to fully deal with what happened with him because to keep my mind off it, I jumped from one relationship to another. I never dealt with it and now that I'm having lots of time alone and I see him every day now, I'm being forced to face it. I'm being forced to face him. I had it all planned out with my current boyfriend who I absolutely know I want to be with until that boy from English had to come along and try to talk to me again (well, blackmail me). I was doing just fine with my perfect, loving boyfriend while blocking him out of my mind. Why is he coming back now? Why does it have to be him? Why are the feelings coming back now?


I have a few questions.. Anyone can answer to any of them.. Feel free.  
 
1.) How can you look me in the eyes and tell me that "Everything is going to be okay.." when I can't even get myself to fall asleep at night because of the crazy nightmares I have? 

2.) How can someone know how close of friends Micah and I were.. Yet, still come up and get in my face and say I'm the reason he's dead?

3.) How can I possibly get over this guilt of the death of my best friend..When the only thing that will give me the strength to move on is to here him say, He forgives me.

4.) When I want to turn back to something that I can rely on to be there... But I have hardly any friends left anymore.. Where do I go?

My last question...
5.) When will I be happy again? Happy with myself.. Happy with the people around me.. Happy with being able to wake up and know that I have another day to live.. Happy that I have an amazing girlfriend standing right in front of me.. Happy that I'm going to be having a daughter.. When will I ever get that happiness back again?

I'm so desarate to end this pain.. I'm so lost..
Someone..Anyone.. Try your best to get me to understand.

 
----------UnforgettableCaleb----------
 
 

 

Just because I Smile
Doesn't mean i'm Happy
Because it takes One Smile
To hide a million Tears.
"And don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful. They can all get f/cked. Just stay true to you."
~Eminem❤
Don't take a single moment for granted because when those moments are gone, they could be the things you miss the most❤






Your like Sunshine,
You illuminate my day...♥





 
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