Quotes added on Wednesday, January 30 2013

Please, it would mean the world to me if you read this.

Today I decided I was going to finally tell my friend about my eating disorder and depression becuase she always comes to me for help with hers.  I told her about how I'm bullied and every day people tell me that I'm ugly, no one will ever love me, and that no one likes me and I should just leave our school.  She responded with "omg you're not bullied and when your friends tell you that it doesn't count."  I tried to tell her that even though there joking it doesn't feel like it.  She then continued to yell at me because I'm "not actually bullied" and if they're hurting me to "just walk away."  I tried to explain to her that it's not as easy as she thinks it is.  She told me "omg yes it is!  Holy sh*t!"  Then she got angry at me when I told her that she's making me feel worse.  I told her I try to help her all the time, so she said "you never actually help me, but whatever sweetens your tea." I told her that I'm sorry that I can't help her that much because I've been depressed since 5th grade and I'm still trying to get over it.  She responded back to me an hour later saying "btw you're not depressed, just because you GOOGLED the symptoms doesn't mean you're depressed.  You're just sad.  And you haven't been sad since 5th grade."  Then I finally told her something I thought I would never tell anyone.  I told her I almost killed myself once but I backed out.  She told me, "No you didn't."  I'm glad she knew that.  I wasn't really sure that I poured a whole bottle of pills into my hands and was tempted to swallow them.  I wasn't really sure.  For the rest of the night she continued to tell me that I was only sad and I'm not actually depressed.  She called me pathetic almost every other sentence.  That'll sure be the last time I ever help her or tust anyone again.

~Do you think she was being rude too, or was I overreacting?  Apparently I'm too emotional according to my friends, so I have to ask to make sure.
i swear to god, i love my local dvd shop now...


so i was in the dvd shop, looking at the horror section...

and Never Say Never JB was in the horror section, in the number one section for scariest movie.



Needless to say, i died laughing.
He's perfect, He just doesn't realise it yet..
   
                 
((       "Ridng the train gives him  TOO MUCH   time to think, he has decided.     ))
     Too much thinking caruin you."
                                      -- Judith Guest, Ordinary People      {  }
   

once upon a time, there was a girl who was so sad that she curled up into brutal self-destruction, and everyone thought that someone else would do something about it, so no one ended up doing anything at all. she fell deeper and deeper, and they sat and watched, because it wasn't their price to pay.
I'm never enough for anyone..
his love for me is bickering and shin-kicking, awkward hugs and weird texts, messing up my hair and teasing me about everything under the sun. my love for him is sneaking glances when he's not looking and going out of my way just to touch him, checking my phone just in case it's him and saving the notes he passes me in class so i can stick them into my diary later. 
I have 5 fingers for a reason...

Thumb: To show the world I'm gonna be okay

Index: To pick out my dearest family members

Middle: For those b/i/t/c/h/e/s who push me too far

Ring: For that special guy when the time is right

Pinky: For my best friends and the promises I'll never break

                          
           nmq, saw it ages ago somewheren and thought it was cute
‎The scars on my wrist are finally fading.
I really hope it stays that way ♥
Beauty lies in nature
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