Here are some tips to stop complaining and ditch the negative
thoughts to focus on finding solutions:
1. Change the way you think.
This is definitely easier said than done. Our brains tend to
gravitate toward the negative. We are bothered first by the thorns
in the rose bush instead of being marveled by the sight of the
beautiful roses.
This requires a new practice of being mindful. When you find
yourself thinking or saying a negative comment about something or
someone, stop and force yourself to say something positive instead.
Enlist the help of a cheerful friend to stop you when you complain
and help you to see the positive in the situation.
2. Allow yourself to vent every once in a while.
Constantly ignoring your negative thoughts could add up. If you are
really going through a rough time, don’t be afraid to share
your feelings with a close friend or family member or see a
therapist. Don’t feel ashamed if you need to talk through
negative feelings.
3. Practice yoga.
Yoga is a great way to exercise, relax, and learn to be mindful.
Yoga focuses on breathing, movement, and meditation and helps you
to control your mind and body. Our minds often race in a million
directions. Yoga can help you calm your racing thoughts and be more
positive with your intentions.
4. Train yourself to be less judgmental.
We often complain about others because we think they are not up to
our standards. Once you stop judging people without knowing their
stories, you will most likely complain less about the things people
do.
For example, constantly complaining about the service in a
restaurant is not helpful. You don’t know what kind of a day
your waiter or waitress has had or what problems are going on
behind the scenes. If you put yourself in their shoes for a minute,
you may be more kind and relax about the situation.
5. Make a list of things you’re grateful for.
Stopping for a minute and thinking of all the great things and
amazing people in your life will probably put any silly complaints
you had to rest.
6. Be the change you wish to see in the world.
Next time you’re with your friends, family, or co-workers and
engaged in a complaint fest, speak up or quiet down. Depending on
the crowd, either speak up to stop the complaining and change the
subject to something sunnier or simply be quiet and don’t
complain yourself.
7. Accept responsibility.
If something is bothering you, either fix it or accept that nothing
can be done right now, so why complain? Complaining is a passive
activity. Change that complaining into action to solve the problem
or simple accept it and give your mind something else to focus
on.
8. Find what makes you happy.
Sometimes this list can be easy, full of hobbies you enjoy.
Sometimes it requires deeper introspection. Are you constantly
complaining about your job? Maybe it is time to make the hard
decision to move on to another job or career. Uncover what your
biggest complaints are about and see if you can change the
situation to make you happy.
9. Take care of yourself.
Stress and a busy lifestyle can often take over our lives and break
down anyone’s positive spirit. Take time out from your life
for just you. Make sure you get to see that movie you were dying to
watch, take a hot bath, head to your exercise class, get a
manicure, play sports, or do whatever relaxes and energizes you. It
could just put you in a new frame of mind.
10. Simply ask yourself when you open your mouth: would you rather
complain or be happy?
Choose happiness, focusing on the positive, and being kind always!
It is your choice and no one else’s.