Quotes added on Monday, August 12 2013

I always thought he'd be coming home. I never skyped him. I never talked to him. I just didn't want him to see me upset. My daddy was in Afghanistan. He was a Captain. He loved helping people. I had no idea his life would be taken so soon, but it was. I wish I would've talked to him more while he was away. I want him to know that I'm okay, that our family is okay, and that everyone in Afghanistan and at home really really misses him. Sometimes I wish he would just come back, but he never does. 


Daddy, I love and miss you more than you could ever know. You are the bravest, most courageous person I have ever met and I hope to be like you someday. 

Thanks for teaching me to be strong. <3 You're missed by many. 

I love you daddy. 


In memory of Captain Joshua McClimans 
May 12 1980 - April 22, 2011 

Please pray for him and all the other soldiers out there still fighting. 

Thannks guys. <3 <3
This quote does not exist.
I dont have a dirty mind...



I have a sexy imagination
*buys social life online*
School starts in ten days?!... Wtf..:(
no matter how hard i try i'll never be over you. 


 ; A day later ;

i got this Idea from a Tumblr Post. So it's pretty much based from It, BUT, Everything I write, Is what I WRITE. WARNING: KILLING. So if you're lightly offended of killing, sorry this isn't your type of story, but if you are a fan of killing, I suggest stayg. idk it's your choice! BTW, you ARE the characters. . So you'll be living through THEIR eyes. Hence the YOURS, I'S. etc... OH AND THERE ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE EACH CHAPTER. (4). inkk sorry for being long but ya know i want you all to get what i intend on doing. okay SO IT BEGINS:..... PICTURES OF THE PEOPLE INCLUDED. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED! (WHAT ANTHONY LOOKS LIKE http://distilleryimage0.s3.amazonaws.com/ca537f9e967611e2a0fd22000aa8039a_7.jpg ) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- CHPT 1: a day in the life of anthony brown.
-------- You wake up at 10:26 AM, "Great.." you mumble to yourself. "Late for school already, Frick.." You sit there, messing with your hair and sighing lightly, you reach for your iphone 5, looking through your messages you say "Might as well check through these I'm already late." you scroll then see a message that catches your eye from notice a missed call from a restricted number. You call your voicemail and listen, "I'm watching". Thinking it's just your friend Caitlyn you ignore it and delete it. "When will she learn she's not fooling me." You then go to your contacts and dial her number, 1 ring...2 ring...3 ring... .... No answer. You finally get up and look at yourself in the mirror "Woah I'm clearly a morning person." you say checking out your hair, (picture of you in the morning: http://distilleryimage10.s3.amazonaws.com/d181b01a93d811e28a3222000a9f17b2_7.jpg )

You fix your hair brush your teeth and then you get a message again, the phone buzzes on the sink, you sit there thinking you should ignore it but your curiosity gets the best of you. It's a text, from Caitlyn.
Caitlyn: Yo Anthhoonyyy.
Where are you, why aren't you at school?
You: Slept in. I'll be there though.
Caitlyn: Whatever dummy! haha, only YOU would sleep in.
You: You know me so well.
Caitlyn: Why didn't your mom wake you up?
You: She's out of town for like a month. She believes I can take care of myself till then.
Caitlyn: Oh, right, well, dork I'll see you at school. It's math. so like, just walk in.
You: Okay.
Caitlyn: See you there, loser.

You smile lightly, and say to yourself, "Caitlyn, she's one of a kind." You finally get dressed, and throw on your vans, and bookbag and walk out the door. You get another text, this time you choose to ignore it. While walking you get this feeling... The feeling of being watched. Shrugging it off, you continue walking. "Dangit, I should've skateboarded to school," then you remember that it's broken in half from when Charlie tried to rail off some stair railings and failed. MISERABLY, all you remember from that was yelling at him and hitting him with the broken pieces. But he's your bestfriend and you got over it quickly. Still walking you still get that feeling, but you still ignore it looking at the graffiti on the walls you walk by. Bzzz..Bzzzz... Another message, this time you check it, and its from Caitlyn. You see you still have another message but you just ignore it.

Caitlyn: Hurry up, loser.
You: Shut up, I'll be there dork.

You put your phone back in your back pocket, you finally arrive to the school, and walk in, you hear someone from afar, "ANTHONYYYY!!" It's charlie. (Charlie looks like: https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/483007_104204443095564_1407293550_n.jpg ) You turn around and look at the loser, "Hey, you still owe me the skateboard." He laughs "Yeah if I get the money." "I'm serious, Charlie." You say, with a strict tone. Charlie catches up to you and walks side by side. "Yeah, whatever," He says "Dude, there's going to be a party at that one hot chicks place, uhhh.." He trails off, "I forget her name.." "Linsey?" you finish for him. "Yeah her, whatever," He says smirking. "Well we're invited so you should go. we'd totally get blazed there." You look at him with the What the heck is this dude even saying and you reply "Sounds boring, she's a sl-ut anyway." Charlie looks at you like your crazy. "But, dude, she's Lisney," He says, stopping and looks right at you, "LISNEY" you ignore him for the rest of the way until you finally get to your class. "Dude," you say looking at him "I'll think about it."

You say walking into class. Everybody stares, then you point out Caitlyn, you look at her, and think 'Wow, she's beautiful.' You've always had a crush on her, since the day you met her, she's amazing. Your staring get's broken when you hear your teacher, and you snap out of your trance. "Ah yes, Mr.Brown, take your seat." Mrs. Pressley says, looking at you. You make your way to your seat beside Caitlyn. You hear a whisper saying, "Finally" You look over, it's Caitlyn. (She looks like https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/550719_152767741532034_1006601378_n.jpg )

"What?" you reply loudishly. "Geez," She says, "You're cranky?" "No, I'm just tired," you say, "Why did you want me here so badly?" you ask. "Beeecauuuse, I have a surprise for you." She says in a whisper, looking at you, happily. "What is it?" You look at her sternly. "You'll see," She says then looking back at the teacher. We sit in the back, and that's what I love about this class, we can talk without getting caught as easily. And I'm sitting by Caitlyn. Part 2 Coming Tomorrow, Sorry guys, I'm really tired haha. I'll finish soon xx SORRY IF ITS STARTING OFF SLOW, TRUST ME,IT'LL GET 10000X BETTER. !

Opinions, Suggestions? Thanks xxx


 
In the tone of a delusional, teenaged girl with the tone of a kind of frustration and delight and shock and bliss after reading a good, sad book. (The Kite Runner, anyone?)

Okay so, it's obvious I've lost my ability to concoct one of those (possibly feigned) meaningful spiels (did I really think they'd satisfy my royal annoyance of the current state of the universe? oh sh*t) that I always tried to put together but never really quite achieved the right degree of personal satisfaction or bring an edge of common sense. (What's the point in reading if there is NO point in it? I murdered the English language!) I just wish I could find the key to the door that hides the remedy to my poisonous language skills. Because oh, my god, everything has structure and you just can't miss the basics. The basics!

It's frustrating because I read a lot and sometimes wish I could write like them. It's not that I want to write a book, I just want to put words together in a way that would finally satisfy me so I can peacefully release my bat wings and sputter glitter and reunite with my definitely-not-vampires family. (Yes, this is called 'lecturing myself.' And I can't stand vampires. Seriously.)

I don't really know, maybe my brain unhinged itself from speaking and feeling fluently as should a human but lately, the things I have been saying is only ever left to becoming disconnected and unconveyed to the point it is not worth a thought. This makes no sense. Am I thinking too much, thinking too little? I make no sense. But that's okay, all is okay with me. This is no rant in particular and definitely nothing beneficial or whatsoever to anyone or anything and I cannot guarantee that things I say are filtered and inoffensive (please worry, I'm not just talking about swearing, even though my vocabulary downright sucks), if you've read this far, please, know that I've already warned you.

Sometimes I feel so violated when a book convincingly convolute my morals and beliefs. It's like I have to remind myself with force of what I should believe and this is just a work of fiction. But fiction, albeit unreal, still has its effect. "Made-up stories matter for precisely the same reason that anything matters: because we decide they matter, because we imbue them with meaning." (John Green, in an answer to a question on his Author's Note)

Can I just say I love everything he writes? Frankly, I'd read his grocery list.
"What else would I be here for?
To illegally enter the premises,
of course."
With every passing day,
I realize that I do not 
truly need you; that
my existence will go on,
whether you're by my 
side, or not.

I understand that the world
will continue to spin, and 
life will go on. Nothing will
change if there is no us.

However, I also realize that
you make me laugh harder 
than anyone else.

That you make my heart speads
up and skip three beats, all at
the same time.

I've come to see that things 
make a little more sense 
when you're in my life.

And the urges aren't as 
prominent when you're
around to talk to me.

I've come to realize that I
do not need you, no, but
things seem to suck a little
less when you're around.

                                             (DS)


 

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