Friend: I need a
cool last minuete halloween coustume Me: Ok, so you need like a string and car keys.
Take your car keys and put them on the string, then tie the string
around your neck, and do you know what you have? Me: A leash of keys Me: Aleashof keys Me: Alicia Keys
My daily thoughts:
What the f/uck.
Oh my god.
How about no.
What is wrong with you.
I hate you.
So, we're not doing that.
Exercise is for people who try.
Pipe the f/uck down.
I can't even like no.
*at the dinner table with my family* sister- " you guys are so
weird!!" * so my brother and i get these goofy facial expressions
and bat our eyes at eachother* dad- *bursts out laughing* " When I
went to work this morning, i never expected to come home and see
this!!" brother and i- * starts grinning at eachother, then laughs
uncontrollably* me - * finally stops laughing* " Ew dad! just EW!!!
" * looks at brother and bursts out laughing again* * whole family
starts gasping for breath because of laughing so hard at my bro and