Quotes added on Monday, May 5 2014

Honestly. I just need some advice. I'll try not to make this too long, but I could go on for days. Lol. 
Anyways, I
met this guy in September, and dated him for four months all the way until last Christmas. We had some of the best an worst times. He was addicted to a drug called DXM. It consumed his life and at times I felt second to his drugs. It all went a little too far for me, so I broke up with him on Christmas, and he left to go to Colorado. (I live in Indiana.) I haven't seen him since Christmas day, but I've been talking to him still. He said he's clean now, has a job, and an apartment. He said If I come to where he's at I can get a job and we can live comfortably. I really want to. He was my first everything, so of course I have an undeniable connection with him. But sometimes I wonder if I just miss having someone there for me, to kiss and laugh with me and just make me really happy. I feel like I was in love, but I don't know if i was just in love with all the attention I got from him. I've kind of tried to talk to other guys, but I'm always too scared to go see them, because I just feel like I'm doing something wrong. I'm really considering going to see him, but I don't know if I should. I can whenever I want, but I have so much still here at home. I just turned 18, and my whole family lives here. I'll be leaving my best friend, my mom, my brothers, and every other important person in my life, and I'm just not sure if I'm ready for all that. I have my whole life here. Do I really wanna leave for one guy? But he's not just a guy. He's my first love. Someone I'll always feel a connection with. I'm so torn, so if you can just put your input in I'd really appreciate it! I know it's a little long, but I can't help it. THANKYOU! 
Fragments of joy torn apart
A freshly drained heart that beats
Disguise themselves through him
He'll say that it's nothing new
And swear this is true
For you
, I'll swallow the ocean
Does it not seem contradicting to sit back and watch them take more?
This is a fight for freedom, this is our way of saying...this is our day.
This is nothing short of predictable.
One fine day in math class.... Me: ~doing math things with my best friend~ Teacher: I'm hearing some great conversations! ~whispers to self~ turn down for what! Me: I like cats c: ~trying to bother teacher~ Teacher: you scare me sometimes... Me: Best friend Me: I scare myself xD Best friend: ~facepalm~ True story ^w^
So you curse at the sun to give into your love like a switch that can be turned on. Like you sleep with a plug in your back, sure enough there's a point where it will come undone. Well you're not alone..

"what's this?"
*holds out hands* "it's my heart."
*takes heart in hands* "wow, it's really thick, and really heavy."
*shrugs* "yea, sorry."
*taps heart with finger* "can I open it?"
"why not?"
"because I locked it."
"well, what's inside?"
"I'm not telling you."
"cause I don't like people playing with it."

*mutters to self* "I bet I can't get in somehow."
"nah, I would't do that. it's dark inside."


Im so afraid of being alone.

and then she melted, and I got her all over my shoes.

I am a cold heartless person inside
But don't blame me,
For it is you're fault,
Instead of mine.
If I could hold back the rain,
Would you numb the pain?
Because I remember everything.

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