Quotes added on Friday, September 5 2014

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Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A: Do-you-think-he-saur-us.

Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?" she asks.

The shepherd agrees. She blurts out, "352!"

The shepherd is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.

"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"

"Hey lady," says the shepherd. "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.

"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?" she asks.

The shepherd agrees. She blurts out, "352!"

The shepherd is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.

"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"

"Hey lady," says the shepherd. "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"

Apparently Marilyn Manson used to like scaring kids in toy stores.
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes
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