I just want to vent.
Nobody is here for me. My best friend is miles away from me, not
that I blame her. It's not her fault that her parents decided
to move. But I still feel lonely without her. She was one person
who I could completely rely on- even after being backstabbed so
many times. I've had many friends but nobody was as great as
her. I've had many friends but nobody could hold my secrets
like she could.
A person who was very close to me, told me something very rude
today and I feel hearbroken about it. He judged me. Even when he
did that, I didn't mind. I still tried to start a conversation
with him but he kind of ignored me. He didn't smile like he
always used to, he didn't joke with me or try to make me laugh
like he used to.
My dad gets annoyed by me, my mum scolds me all day long. Not even
my parents love me, and I have had many experiences regarding
that.
Everybody believes the fake smile that I have on my face, nobody
sees the tears that I shed everyday. I wish that there was at least
one person who would comfort me or just hold me and tell me that
everything will be fine, even if nothing is fine.
When I don't share my feelings with people, they say that
I'm too much of a close book but if I share my feelings with
them, they just say that I want attention. When will people stop
judging me? When will people stop leaving me? When will I have
someone who would love me and look past every flaw of mine? I guess
I know the answer, never.
I'm desperately waiting for my
life to end.