It's been
a few hours, you've just been hanging there. You've
been quiet, too quiet. Usually there is music playing or your
foot steps could be heard. Today, you're quiet though. Your
little sister, who doesn't normally come to greet you
because you lock yourself away, decides to see what you're
doing. She assues you're talking a nap or doing some
homework quietly. She runs up the stairs, and comes to an
immediate halt. You're not doing your homework nor taking a
nap. Your music isn't playing and you aren't walking
around. You're hanging there. Completely still, now just
like her. At this moment,
her whole world shatters. Everything she has ever known, looked
up to, loved, is hanging there by a thread. At this moment, her
life has been changed forever. At this moment, she wishes she
was hanging with you. Before
you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you.
Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging
there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother
father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when
they find you. No, they will not say “Finally,
they’re gone.” No, they will not say
“I’m happy they did that.” No, they will not
say “I never loved them anyways.” They will die.
Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you ever
could. They will cry, scream, and break down. They’ll
believe it’s all just a dream, praying to wake up.
Except, they won’t feel that for a few seconds, or a few
days, not weeks, nor months. They will feel that until the day
they die. Everyday will be hell. They’ll think of you
ever second. They’ll hate themselves for not being able
to help or save you. They’ll wish they could die too.
They’ll want to give up, just to be with you. They
won’t be ever be happy again. They won’t smile.
They won’t go back to their daily routine. They’ll
die every time they walk past your room, or see a picture of
you, or think of a memory with you. They’ll think, but
stay quiet. They’ll visit your grave, feeling a knife go
through their chest every time. And every morning when they
wake up, no matter how long it’s been, they’ll wake
up to thinking they’ll see you, only to be let down once
again. And every night, they will cry themselves to sleep,
because even though they refuse to admit it, know
you’re gone forever. Before
you decide to take your life, think of your family, burying
you. Yes, your own mother and father are planning your funeral.
It’s supposed to be the other way around, but it’s
not. They’ll have to call the cops, sign a death
certificate, pick out clothing, buy a tomb stone, a casket,
pick out flower arrangements, and more; All for their
child’s funeral. The morning of your funeral, everyone
who loves you is wearing black. Tears are streaming down their
face, while their heart is breaking. Everyone who you thought
didn’t need you, or didn’t care, are waiting in
line to see you. They aren’t waiting in line at a party,
or a graduation, or at a wedding reception. They’re
waiting to see you, hands folded, lifeless, in a
casket. Before
you decide to take your life, think of everyone you will be
hurting. Don’t you dare say no one, because absolutely
everyone will be affected. Your grandparents, won’t have
a grandchild anymore. Your parents, won’t have a child
anymore. Your brother or sister, won’t have a sibling
anymore. Your pet, won’t have an owner anymore. That
person you sit next to in class, won’t feel your presence
anymore. Your teacher, won’t have a student anymore. That
time your grandparents told you no, will haunt them forever,
thinking it is their fault, that you are now dead. That time
your parents yelled at you, will haunt them forever, thinking
if they didn’t yell at you, you would still be here. That
time your sibling said they hated you, will hate themselves,
because they believe you would still be alive if they said they
loved you instead. Those kids who made you feel bad, will wish
they were dead too, because if they just smiled at you instead,
you would be here. That teacher that said you didn’t meet
her expectations, will feel like a failure, because you would
still be here, if she believed in you. Everyone, who has ever
been in your presence, will hurt, because if they showed you
they cared, you would still be here. Before
you decide to take your life, think. Don’t just think of
yourself, think of the consequences for everyone else. No
one’s life will be the same again. That person who God
made specially for you, won’t have you. That happiness
that was waiting for you, will never show again. Before you
decide to take your life, realize that you may be ending your
pain, but you’ll be starting a lifetime of everyone
else's.