Quotes added on Monday, December 1 2014

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How do my parents expect good grades from me when 
I push on the pull door?
my parents don't seem to realise that I have a life separate from them now.
I don't want to be spending two damn weeks before Christmas at home - 
I have plans, damnit! We were going to Carols by Candlelight, going to the beach,
drinking at Emma's, sunbathing on the lawn, going shopping in the city.
My life doesn't revolve around home anymore - 
just because I want to go to a single freaking party at home
doesn't mean I want to spend a heap of time there.
I gaze out of the window at the lanes of red taillights streaming towards the hills, the city laid out in anonymous grids and quadrants, the view confirming that I was much more alone than I thought, and all those red lights inspired nothing more than a sense that I, too, should be fleeing somewhere.
"I'm here for you"
"You are not alone"
"You will always have me"


---------------------------


F*cking bullsh*t 
When it's 2:30 am
And my self-loating claws it's way Up my throat
And rips itself from my mouth
In a silent scream
I am alone.
When the blade parts my skin, When the cuts get deeper,
There is no one
I am alone.
When the only real thing is
The blood running down my arms         I am alone
You say you are there, but you are not.
2:32 am

around this time
you realize you are not okay

that everyone around you
is safe in their dreams
while you are kept awake
by all the demons that
don't let you sleep

your thoughts begin to spiral
and downward you go,
as soon as your first tear falls,
it's like you've called in a storm

your heart is in tangles
and your mind is a mess,
you find yourself scattered,
drowning in a sea of your own
sadness

and now you lay awake
wishing you spent the night
counting the stars,
instead of all the
problems in your life
My whole body hurts as i frantically search for a blade. Tears swelling up in my eyes - i'm in a panic. My body begins to shake uncontrollably- i cannot seem to control my own hands, and then i feel the bite of the blade go across my flesh. And i cry- big fat tears roll down the swell of my cheeks, snot running into my open mouth. I throw my head agaisnt the wall "I cannot handle this..."

"She doesn't really have a place in this world"
That sentence keeps echoing inside the walls of my mind. Piercing into it a fact that i'm aready painfully aware of.
"She doesn't really have a place in this world"
A misfit. A road without a map. I'm walking without any destination; trying desperately to find a place.
"She doesn't really have a place in this world"
I know.



 
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