Quotes added on Saturday, February 7 2015

On Friday we had a sub in Algebra
The kid next to me was so annoying, the sub gave me permission tho slug him

Dentist: This is gonna hurt a little.
Me: Ok. 
Dentist: I've been sleeping with your mom.

I’ll just flip this omelette

Aaaand I’m having scrambled eggs.

Funny how when your life is mostly bullshit, you turn off feeling. Sometimes it’s hard to turn it back on again. 

 

If you find the dividing line between fairy tales and reality, let me know. In my mind, the two run together, even though the intersections aren’t always obvious. The girl sitting quietly in class or waiting for the bus or roaming the mall doesn’t want anyone to know, or doesn’t know how to tell anyone, that she is locked in a tower. Maybe she’s a prisoner of a story she’s heard all her life- that fairest means best, or that bruises prove she is worthy of love.
 

A crooked stick will have a crooked shadow.

You're not really a plus-sized unless you're wearing a t-shirt in the pool.