Right now I want a word
that describes the feeling that you get — a cold sick
feeling, deep down inside — when you know something is
happening that will change you, and you don’t want it
to, but you can’t stop it. And you know, for the first
time, for the very first time, that there will now be a
before and an after, a was and a will be. And that you will
never again quite be the same person you were.
— Jennifer
Donnelly, A Northern
Light