& it gets
the
hardest
when
you've been trying
terribly hard to get out of this deep hole for longer than you
can remember, and all you can do is watch everyone else live
their lives the way they want. and the thing is, you've
spent so much of your time working to get into a better
place--but you may as well have not made any effort at all,
because you're
still
in the
same
hell
you've
been
in for
years.
and all you can do is ask yourself, "when is it my turn to
be happy?" "do i even get a turn?". soon, you
begin to believe you were just born to get constantly let down.
and it becomes
more
and
more
difficult
to be
happy
for
others
when
good
things
happen
to them,
because you've just so used to experiencing disappointment
after disappointment. before you know it, you're scrambling
around to find that one thing that encourages you to hold on
when you're minutes away from giving up. and that one thing
you depend on--whether it be a person, a place, a musical
artist--becomes a piece of you; and you know that without it,
you'd be nothing.all
you
can
do is
hold
onto
that
thing
for
dear
life
and
wait
until
things,
if ever,
turn
up for
you.