Quotes added on Tuesday, May 12 2015

You walked
out of
hell and
ran into

no but like really, every month or
so, the guy that r.aped me will change
his number to get past the block on
my phone, and he will beg me to 
"forgive, and never bring it up again."
he will swear he changed. he will say
he misses me and loves me. he will
plead for me to give him a chance.
and when I refuse all of that; when
I refuse to forget it, when I refuse to
believe he's different, when I refuse
to go out with him, he goes on a
rampage. he calls me every name
under the sun. he says the r.ape 
never happened, that is was all
consensual, that I am lying. he's
insistent that I begged for it, and
that I'm just out to get him; out to
ruin his life. he even called me the
f.ucking stalker. all of that is proof
enough that he hasn't changed. but
it's funny, because I'm still the one
that is criticized. not just by him,
by everyone else, too.

oh, and after he professes such

love for me, he instantly gets into
a relationship, and says the same
thing he says to every. single. girl.
"I love you so much, I will never 
lie to you. you changed me for
the better babygirl. I owe you so
much. I love you I swear I do. I 
want to be with you forever. I'm
yours. if you have a question
just ask me because I promise
I will never lie to you and never
hurt you ever."

it's a line, and it always works.

and when he gets in a relationship,
he spends the entire time chatting
up other girls, looking for a trade-up
when he ain't worth s.hit.
Computers used to be associated with smart people
But this is not true
Because anyone can use a computer, it seems
even truly stupid people
which is honestly scary

I am so afraid
Of   my   own   mistakes. 




I've been hurt so bad and I still love so hard. 

admire my heart fothat.

all suave has left the building

I am destroying myself and the futuRe i have built up for myself. My entire visiom of what was to coMe Is falling apart, and i am the maker of My own tragedy. But i cannot Go back And i am no longer strong enough. 

this is why i don't talk to people like do yoU SEE

People have told me time and time again that I  am weak or wrong for running away. They treat me like a coward, and say that I am ruining my chances, my future. But when you beat someone down, when time and time again you break them, there is no excuse. You can say that good may come of it, but I will not, cannot, listen anymore. Running no longer becomes just an option, it becomes your only choice. 
I am not going to suffer for a future I no longer want.




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