Quotes added on Sunday, February 21 2016

Dear Seventeen year old me,

This is an interesting time. You finally come to terms with the fact that no matter how many recommendations your friends make, you cannot cry at sad movies, books, plays- anything. Marley and me Made you frown once, but that was it. You also discover that yoU have an Obsession with psychological thrillers that borders on the creepy side. Your friends won't understand this either. You will stumble onto the 'weird' side of youtube one too manY times and avidly watch conspiracy theory vIdeos.  So heres a heads up, oIl is cheap so The us can hurt russia's economy and isis is fueld by the tHe us governmenT. Yes, i know it's crazy, my friends keep reminding me that, but is it really? Anyway we think over becoming a doctor, journalist and a bunch of other things but decide on one thing (finally), to become a medIcal Lab scientist, but my real career goal is To be a pubLished author (we will get their, i know it). This is also the time when we realise Not all bOys suck, some are cool, some are funny, others are just Plain annoying. This is also the Time wE learn to be truly happy for others, and Learn to fOrgive, but more imPortantly, allow myself to forget. This year isn't over yet, Still a few more months till 18. But we've learnt a lot. One of my favOurites is that self-love isnt a destination, but a journey, and each day brings us closer to where we want to be. Before I end this, we actually know how to say no to people now. But I think it's time we learnt to say yes to more things again. So here's to being more open.

"These are growing pains."
 – Steve.

I know what it's like to have no friends. To dread recess and lunch because there was no one I could sit or play with. To dread group projects that were supposed to be fun, because I would be the only one without a pair. I know what it feels like to have a wide smile on your face as a group of girls approach you and slowly feel it falter as they tell you "they don't like you" and giggle together as they run away. I know what it's like to silently weep into a pillow late at night, asking God why I didn't deserve any companions. I know what it's like to have no friends, and now that I have four, yes four, that's a number I can count on one hand, but it's doesn't matter because I have four more than I ever did. And it's amazing. There's no dread anymore. I get excited about things I'm supposed to get excited over now. So now that I've passed that lonely stage of my life, when I see someone sitting alone and I invite them to come over,Ā I'm not being fake. I'm not being overly nice. I'm not trying to be anything that I'm not. If you knew what it felt like to be at that degree of lonesome, you wouldn't want anyone to feel like that ever again. So as you snicker away, I will continue to allow new kids into my friendship circle, and one day, when your own friends realise the kind of mean you are and up and leave you, maybe then you'll appreciate me, when I ask if you, too, want to play basketball. I won't treat you like a charity case, but another valued member in my team. Something that I wish someone would have done for me, after all those years.
operation get tight with their fam/siblings = proposal

I tell myself,
"It's time now. I gotta let go."
But moving on from him is impossible,
And I still see it all in my head.  

Burning red.


Some people say Earth is visited
 by aliens who choose to remain in secret. If it’s true, what could they want? Certainly, they must be so technologically superior to us that they can’t possibly need anything technological from us. If they need resources (some say they’re after gold or water), wouldn’t they just take those resources? It’s not as if we could resist them, so why do they hide?

I have a hypothesis.
 There is something we have that they don’t have that would require their remaining hidden in order to get. That thing is our culture. They’re observing our art, our music, our mistakes, our wars, and our silly little sciences struggling to understand the universe. They enjoy watching us in our wild, undisturbed, primitive state. They see our highest technology and think, “Isn’t that cute. Look what they think they invented.” They take deep breaths of our pollution and it makes them feel rustic and quaint.

Were they to reveal themselves
 to us, they would infect our culture with their culture, and we would no longer be wild. We would no longer be natural. Everything alien would become the latest fad. Our music would start to sound more like theirs. Our TV would tell alien gossip. Our schools would teach their math and languages. The more we became like them, the less entertaining we would be for them. That is why they hide. Earth is a wildlife preserve for aliens. They come here to get back to nature, as we go to the park to watch the squirrels.

Everything you want's a dream away
under this pressure, under this weight
we are diamonds taking shape

Your soul could never grow old,  it's evergreen

I wanna free fall out into nothing
I'm gonna leave this world for a while

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
and forget about the
stupid little things

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