I never understood love triangles in films. I thought how greedy
can they be to love more than one person. I thought why couldn't
they just choose one. I understand now. How are you supposed to
choose when u love them both deeply and the same? How are you
supposed to choose knowing you would break one and they would never
forgive. It is not extremely lucky or good to love two people who
love you back. Its a curse.
No one really tells you how the incurable case of not belonging
seeps through your adolescent years and right into your adult
life. It doesn’t really matter how many calendar pages I
turn, I know the heaviness of finding my place will be right
there waiting for me.
But I don’t think anyone ever feels like they completely
belong, we just stop noticing – like the abrupt yet
somehow still discreet transition from winter into spring, when
one day you wake up and it’s warm enough to leave without
a jacket. And eventually it becomes so second nature you forget
when it happened altogether.
I guess that’s what I’m waiting for – the
cold intrusive feeling to lift one day so I can see what
it’s like to live without being constantly reminded to
keep myself warm.