I'm at work and
not supposed to
be online. My employer says
that she has
software to see
snapshots of whatever we
do on the internet. Did she
mean snapshots? Or
just a list of the websites
we visit? Well...she's not gonna be happy if she sees this snap,
but I might as
well still post it.
Who knows? She might have
already read this
far...no use
keeping her wondering. And I need to vent. I wonder what would
happen if she found out
how I feel about life right
now? I wonder what
would happen if she knew just
how much my body
has been destroyed
by my crappy health. I wonder, if she knew, would she stop
bugging me about
making darned phone
calls when it's hard to even hold a pen right now? Would she
understand how
much it takes out of
me to just be here? As an
introvert...this job
is already extremely
draining, just the fact
that I have to deal
with in-store customers and also be available to answer the
phone, even though
I do still have an underlying
phone anxiety on
top of the general
social anxiety. But then to make more phone calls on top of
that?
Understandable, if I
haven't already
called them 20 times in the past month. But I recognise too many
of these people's
names and even know
some of their phone numbers by heart. I should not be able to
dial some customer
of this company
from my house. I should have to have their account open in
front of my face for
me to contact
them, but no, I recognise their phone number and sometimes even
their address. The
pressure is
killing me
here. If some of them haven't paid by now, they won't
pay again for at
least another
month, no need to
keep leaving voicemails every single freaking day. This girl is
tired. I am
done.