Quotes added on Saturday, June 25 2016

Die is my time. Live is my mind.
It might take me a lifetime to forgive you.
 
 
racing thoughts, racing thoughts, all too real you're moving so fast now, I can't hold your image this image I have of your face by the window me standing beside you, arm on your shoulder a catalogue of images, flashing glimpses, then gone again
 
 


TVXQ! < one >
The days I've been dreaming of are already here, I feel it through your hand, that I am holding now. Because you've might have been too far away, I couldn't tell you anything. Without knowing my hidden feelings.

& In less than one year, I have lost every close friend i had because i messed everything up, and all i want to do is fix the wrong things that I have done, but It will never be good enough, And it hurts....
You cut me out and dragged me down,
Pulled me all the way to the bottom.
What I've done for you 'til I'm black and blue,
What no one else would do for the fallen.
once you've been hurt, you get scared to get attached again, because you're always thinking everyone you love will always end up hurting you
"History seems to suggest blatantly
that a man gains the level of wisdom in proportion to the height & length of own freedom from the bondage of woman. "

~Anuj Somany
I'm coming to a point in my life where I just don't want anyone else there with me. I don't need it. I used to sit and wonder how on earth I could survive without my best friend, or some boyfriend at the time. And now I am here, perfectly content with the idea of being alone. Because being alone doesn't mean I am lonely. My nights are restless not because I don't have someone to sing me to sleep, it is because my thoughts are racing a million miles a second, and they scream. I do not isolate myself on purpose, nor do I feel left out. I used to be insecure and worried about whether or not my friends liked me, or if I appeared weird or obscene to all of the strangers who pass by me. Now, I just don't care. I don't want to be in a relationship because I know I am too self-absorbed and not patient enough to dedicate my time and energy towards another person who could very well just treat me like sh/t. All I ever wanted at some point was a boyfriend, I met the man I thought I was going to marry. And you know what really scares me sometimes? The fact that I successfully let him go. I check up on him occasionally but we have not spoken a peaceful word in months on top of months and I do not know if there is any more love in my heart for that man. And he was once someone who became my everything, and I would have died for him. Now, I am just repulsed by those kinds of relationships. I am suprised at the type of person i am becoming because I used to cling onto every relationship and friendship of mine with my whole,dear, naive life, and nowthe only person I have tolerance for is myself. I love it because I feel my independence grow more and more every single day. I am afraid that I am heading towards being truly heartless and cold, what I once aspired to be but couldn't achieve because I cared too much. I used to always care too much. And now? I feel very close to nothing at all. 
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