Quotes added on Saturday, August 13 2016

damn, i just wish i could write well

I am not perfect. Are you? Let us accept the fact that nobody is perfect. Let us learn to accept our imperfections as well as those of others.
 [01:43] <Guest9997> why must i be so restless
 [01:43] <Guest9997> no amount of attention or love will calm me
 [01:43] <Guest9997> i have only myself to rely on
[01:44] <Guest9997> and I am unreliable.

[01:38] <Guest9997> i feel alone
[01:38] <Guest9997> even with the embrace of music
[01:38] <Guest9997> it isn't as soft or warm as the embrace of a person
[01:39] <Guest9997> i don't miss her, she wasn't good for me
[01:39] <Guest9997> but i miss the cuddling
[01:39] <Guest9997> and the cheering
[01:39] <Guest9997> and the support
[01:39] <Guest9997> and the closeness
[01:40] <Guest9997> the concept of having a built in best friend and constant supporter at all times
[01:40] <Guest9997> what a nice conept
[01:41] <Guest9997> no one understands my depth, nor do they attempt to understand
[01:41] <Guest9997> and because of it i am lonely

Social media tells me
that there has to be a lot going on
while still standing still
constantly moving forward
and documenting that
while drinking thee and doing yoga

But I'm still writing poems
with the soul purpose of getting laid
and while my fitness progresses
so does my waistline because
I started feasting where I used to starve.
there's a lot of loud going on in my life
that I wish stayed quiet, 
wispered only to me

I should be the queen of this technology
but I feel more like a servant
so I log out and check into my brain
it's still there
and that should be enough
no hashtag encompasses this passion
no picture captures this disire
and that should be enough
I do not remember all of what happened
I see the bruizes , the marks that come
and go and sometimes stay
on my skin
I do not remember where they came from
the accidents, the pain, the glow
all of it is lost on me
so I torture my memory
look for the years that have worn me down
in this state of constant obivion 
to the suffering I have endured
is it possible to become soft again
covered in this hard skin?
if day old scabs remind
you of years old trauma
is it possible to start over
when your skin refuses to forget
what your brain refuses to remmeber

When I was 18
a guy of 23 told me that
I couldn't know misery yet
when I reached his age I'd know 
why you drink to forget
He drunkenly held on to his pina colada
and I got mad
A friend told me that it's true
that you change a lot in those years
as I would have hoped because 
it would be sad to stay stagnant
but I didn't count on this

When I got 19 I've slept in some
unfriendly bedrooms of unfriendly men
I ran of abroad and told a boy
that I'm the youngest girl alive 
in my head, cause I was
he thought that was weird
because he always felt old
and he held me trying to sip up
my youth

I was on a plane with a man
who told me my loud voice could indicate
that I was uncertain about myself
I said no, that's not an option, I just like
being heard and don't worry,
you didn't put me in a identity crisis
because I'm only 20 and it's a state of mind

keep on embracing that feeling
and now I'm 21, I still lie in bed with boys
who I won't marry with but who think
that I am beautiful and I think I am
And I'm still not clinging to pina colada's
but I have two more years to catch a trauma
that makes me so bitter that I stop trying
and colour black insides
with sweet liquor
but until then, I'm drinking
for nights to remember
instead of forget
just remember, they left you. you've been hurting, you've been alone and they were no where to be found. fück closure, fück those random text and phone calls that only come because they're bored with the person they left your äss for. they don't love you, they never did. they don't miss you, that's bull shït. you deserve so much more than what you've had.
format-br0kenwings LEAVE THIS HERE PLEASE.

I knew Id be doing time
I jumped in and took a ride;
                 I’m your Bonnie, you’re my Clyde.

© format coded by: br0kenwings
Please don't remove this, or make it invisible!

so unnaturally exhausted. dont feel right.
needing my personal pharmacy about now...

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