I
was in my house, alone in the living room, anxious about you,
watching the flashes of lightning. And a flash of lightning lit
up this truth for me, right in front of my eye. That night i lost
you, I lost something inside me. Or perhaps several things.
Something central to my existence, the very support for who I am
as a person.
He was a child; but he knew
his own soul, it was precious to him, he guarded it as the eyelid
guards the eye, and without the key of love he let no one into
his soul.
I have a habit of falling in love with souls who have yet to be
at peace with their bodies, their minds, their weaknesses. I
try to build them, to find the parts of them that are missing
in me. I end up with holes in my chest.
Sometimes when I look at you, I feel I’m gazing at a
distant star. It’s dazzling, but the light is from tens
of thousands of years ago. Maybe the star doesn’t even
exist any more. Yet sometimes that light seems more real to me
than anything.