Quotes added on Tuesday, January 3 2017
Why'd you hafta leave me
when I needed you the most?
-Charlie Puth, See You Again
-Charlie Puth, See You Again
Its only confusing because I love the both of you. He never treated
me right so you know that statement was bullshit itself. I didnt
want to start a war or have an arguement with you; but I thought
you needed to know you arent completely erased. To leave him in
that moment would have been a complete disaster because he was
drunk; always drunk. I guess i signed up for this road so clearly
here I am still trying to pursue it. You &' I both know after all
of this we could never be how we once were. Im not trying to
bullshit you or try and do anything with these posts; just to write
to you 'cause I miss you I suppose.
A little darkness, in itself, at the time, is nothing. You think no more about it and you go on. But I know what darkness is, it accumulates, thickens, then suddenly bursts and drowns everything.
let
it
die.
LET THERE BE A
new beginning. it's awful. GOODNIGHT.
new beginning. it's awful. GOODNIGHT.
“To all the devils,
l.usts,
passions, greeds, envies, loves, hates, strange desires, enemies
ghostly and real, the army of memories, with which I do battle
— may they never give me
peace.”
BECOME
THAT
WHICH
THE ANXIETY INHERENT IN AIR
If you must know, this is what I'm scared of. I'm scared that everyone else is more who they are than I am who I am. I think everyone else just looks at the things they feel or think and says “Of course this is what I feel or think, this is who I am.”
But I am never sure of what I feel or think.
And I'm scared because I'm holding all the things I could feel or think on a boat that the slightest breeze could tip over and if that happens, I will fall with all of it into the water. I am scared I will be left with nothing and no idea who I am.
I am scared of the wind.
If you must know, this is what I'm scared of. I'm scared that everyone else is more who they are than I am who I am. I think everyone else just looks at the things they feel or think and says “Of course this is what I feel or think, this is who I am.”
But I am never sure of what I feel or think.
And I'm scared because I'm holding all the things I could feel or think on a boat that the slightest breeze could tip over and if that happens, I will fall with all of it into the water. I am scared I will be left with nothing and no idea who I am.
I am scared of the wind.
But love's like a needle on a record, taking parts of you away as it draws sharply and constantly across the heart, in slow descending circles, just to hear a song hidden in the scratches one more time.
You drive too slowly down the streets where you once lived but you roll up your windows when you stop at the lights (just in case any of the ghosts try to get in).
five things i learned about myself
last year
1. i am not impatient. i am restless.
2. i'm not a people pleaser.
3. practicing reckless optimism is not nearly as hard as knowing when to let it go.
4. the third cigarette is the hardest to light.
5. i can cry. i just have to let myself.
1. i am not impatient. i am restless.
2. i'm not a people pleaser.
3. practicing reckless optimism is not nearly as hard as knowing when to let it go.
4. the third cigarette is the hardest to light.
5. i can cry. i just have to let myself.
