Its only confusing because I love the both of you. He never treated
me right so you know that statement was bullshit itself. I didnt
want to start a war or have an arguement with you; but I thought
you needed to know you arent completely erased. To leave him in
that moment would have been a complete disaster because he was
drunk; always drunk. I guess i signed up for this road so clearly
here I am still trying to pursue it. You &' I both know after all
of this we could never be how we once were. Im not trying to
bullshit you or try and do anything with these posts; just to write
to you 'cause I miss you I suppose.
you must know, this is what I'm scared of. I'm scared
that everyone else is more who they are than I am who I am. I
think everyone else just looks at the things they feel or think
and says “Of course this is what I feel or think, this is
who I am.”
But I am never sure of what I feel or think.
And I'm scared because I'm holding all the things I
could feel or think on a boat that the slightest breeze could
tip over and if that happens, I will fall with all of it into
the water. I am scared I will be left with nothing and no idea
who I am.
I am scared of the wind.
But love's like a needle on a
record, taking parts of you away as it draws sharply and
constantly across the heart, in slow descending circles, just to
hear a song hidden in the scratches one more
1. i am not impatient. i am restless.
2. i'm not a people pleaser.
3. practicing reckless optimism is not nearly as hard as knowing
when to let it go.
4. the third cigarette is the hardest to light.
5. i can cry. i just have to let myself.