Quotes added on Friday, February 10 2017

WE FALL IN LOVE TILL IT HURTS OR BLEEDS OR FADES IN  TIME.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. How it began. I don't know how we got to this part of the story but here we are. I miss me. I miss myself before you. I miss not lying about myself. I miss being anonymous with no consequence. I don't like opening up to you. I thought I did but I didn't. I'm sorry I'm like this. It's my own fault I'm so withdrawn. But I've always been like this. I'm sorry.

+ I haven't spoken a word in that group chat in weeks. I feel so utterly disconnected. And hurt. How could you cut me off like that? I pretended I was alright and super invested in my drama to feel left out, but I was. I was so left out. You all knew but you didn't care enough to stop what you were doing to check up on me. And that's what hurts. That friends I've made, who are on the other side of the planet would drop anything to console me. But the ones I've grown up with, and seen day in day out, don't care nearly enough. And maybe it is my fault I don't trust them enough to fully open up. Maybe I'm too immature. Maybe this isn't really such a big deal. But a week after, why am I still hurt? Why is it still playing on my mind? Why am I so sad? If I'm immature, fine. But maybe it's time I cut us off too.

I always come back to you. You're warm and hug me tight when I'm sad. Sometimes you don't ask questions, you just let me lie down next to you and sob. Tears dampen your jumper but you don't care. I love you for that. I love you for many reasons. But right now, I love you for that.

The reckless irony in how I tried to get revenge on you by destroying myself.

I’ll never understand how time can make a moment feel as close as yesterday and as far as years.

TELL MYSELF IT'S  TIME NOW, GOTTA LET GO, BUT MOVING ON FROM HIM IS IMPOSSIBLE WHEN i STILL SEE IT ALL IN MY HEAD IN BURNING RED.

ONCE UPON A TIME,
a few mistakes ago.