Quotes added on Friday, April 7 2017

Your body does me right never wrong
Better yet your voice gets me feeling fantastic
And your smile make me doubt of my life
What did I do to have you such a precious girl like you
They said you get what you give
But i did not do nothing to deserve an angel like you
So i must have God on my side
Just like the moon, I go through


phases.
You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progess simultaneously.
ALL WE
DO IS
THINK
ABOUT THE
FEELINGS
THAT
WE HIDE 

i'm sad and i can't explain it
Couple of things. Heres a few things so I expect a long quote back. First off I went to walmart last night and there was a red tie. We never got the chance to find one let alone use it how we planned too. Second I purposely drive by dennys so much just to see if I can get a glimpse of you. By your house. This rain is driving me crazy with thoughts. Memories. Running outside onto my moms stairs so we could kiss under a shower of cold water droplets. Next. Im sitting in my home. Three animals and I still feel so alone. I used to wonder why Jon smoked so much. Drank so much. Now Im here waiting for my next bottle I can get my hands on. The next bag of seeds cause Im trying so hard to stop myself from craving cigarettes. Here I am waiting for a pipe. Waiting for a pill. Wondering where I put my straw? Sitting on my couch with music blasting and cartoons playing on the tv that I dont even care to listen too. Staring at the window watching the trees whip around from the wind and the rain trying so hard to get in through my window. When I drive anywhere I see us driving to tahoe with the windows down, my hair blowing around like crazy and my feet up on the dash. Miss being your shot gun rider. Changing your music stations. Wondering since your leaving if this is what my life has come too. If this is what I just have to get used to because it isnt going to get better let alone theres no way it could possibly really get any worse.



I AM A C R I T I C OF MY OWN CRITICAL NEED TO DEFINE MYSELF WITH WINE, AND WORDS, AND LOVERS, AND FRIENDS WHO DON'T UNDERSTAND.




 

Haha fair enough. Yeah I remember running out to kiss you in that rain. Was raining so crazy on and off that day like the scenes from the notebook. You ran out in your socks. lol. Suck a dork. I look for your car everytime I pass sonic still. That's not how I pictured you living life after us. Hoped you were living it better.  You know it's ridiculous how often I check this just to see if you've replied. I try to stall my time in between checks but farmville gets borring after an hour or so lol. Only reason I'm going in the military is because I blew it with school and still don't know what I want to do. The military is the only way I can find out and get another shot at school. Currently sitting at home. It's kinda chaotic right now. We're ripping the carpet out of the bedrooms so the house is a disaster. Everything is in the kitchen. It's driving me nutts with all the clutter. Even though I'm home it's like I'm still partially not. Even though my stuff is everywhere feel like was already like that because pretty much stopped living at home so kinda got kicked outta my room. Just keep bouncing around I guess. Thought about getting a place a while back but I'd only be paying for all my crap to be there. I text my recruiter the other day about paying off my car and he said all I have to do is get a statement so I have proof of my payment arrangement and that I've paid on it. So that's all I'm waiting on then I've gotta go back down to MEPS and just swear in then I'm waiting. I don't know what else to do with myself and although it's scary that we might end up in world war three while I'm in I feel like I still need to do it. I don't think we'll be together any time soon so kind of need to I guess do something to kill time. Plus I can't break her heart if I don't go so I have too. It's my only logical reason other than admitting the truth. Actually broke it off and it was hard. Not because of feelings or anything like that but I had to figure out what it was I was breaking it off for. Was it because I'm hoping the future will come sooner because maybe it'll have something instore for us or do I do it because she's not the type of woman I plan to marry. I did it for me. Atleast that's what I tell myself. I hope it was for me because I can't bet on you.

I AM

STILL FAR

FROM BEING

WHAT I

WANT TO BE.

 

*but i'll get there.
 

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