Your body does me right never wrong
Better yet your voice gets me feeling fantastic
And your smile make me doubt of my life
What did I do to have you such a precious girl like you
They said you get what you give
But i did not do nothing to deserve an angel like you
So i must have God on my side
Couple of things. Heres a few things so I expect a long quote
back. First off I went to walmart last night and there was a red
tie. We never got the chance to find one let alone use it how we
planned too. Second I purposely drive by dennys so much just to
see if I can get a glimpse of you. By your house. This rain is
driving me crazy with thoughts. Memories. Running outside onto my
moms stairs so we could kiss under a shower of cold water
droplets. Next. Im sitting in my home. Three animals and I still
feel so alone. I used to wonder why Jon smoked so much. Drank so
much. Now Im here waiting for my next bottle I can get my hands
on. The next bag of seeds cause Im trying so hard to stop myself
from craving cigarettes. Here I am waiting for a pipe. Waiting
for a pill. Wondering where I put my straw? Sitting on my couch
with music blasting and cartoons playing on the tv that I dont
even care to listen too. Staring at the window watching the trees
whip around from the wind and the rain trying so hard to get in
through my window. When I drive anywhere I see us driving to
tahoe with the windows down, my hair blowing around like crazy
and my feet up on the dash. Miss being your shot gun rider.
Changing your music stations. Wondering since your leaving if
this is what my life has come too. If this is what I just have to
get used to because it isnt going to get better let alone theres
no way it could possibly really get any worse.
Haha fair enough. Yeah I remember running out to kiss you
in that rain. Was raining so crazy on and off that day like the
scenes from the notebook. You ran out in your socks. lol. Suck a
dork. I look for your car everytime I pass sonic still.
That's not how I pictured you living life after us. Hoped you
were living it better. You know it's ridiculous how
often I check this just to see if you've replied. I try to
stall my time in between checks but farmville gets borring after
an hour or so lol. Only reason I'm going in the military is
because I blew it with school and still don't know what I
want to do. The military is the only way I can find out and get
another shot at school. Currently sitting at home. It's kinda
chaotic right now. We're ripping the carpet out of the
bedrooms so the house is a disaster. Everything is in the
kitchen. It's driving me nutts with all the clutter. Even
though I'm home it's like I'm still partially not.
Even though my stuff is everywhere feel like was already like
that because pretty much stopped living at home so kinda got
kicked outta my room. Just keep bouncing around I guess. Thought
about getting a place a while back but I'd only be paying for
all my crap to be there. I text my recruiter the other day about
paying off my car and he said all I have to do is get a statement
so I have proof of my payment arrangement and that I've paid
on it. So that's all I'm waiting on then I've gotta
go back down to MEPS and just swear in then I'm waiting. I
don't know what else to do with myself and although it's
scary that we might end up in world war three while I'm in I
feel like I still need to do it. I don't think we'll be
together any time soon so kind of need to I guess do something to
kill time. Plus I can't break her heart if I don't go so
I have too. It's my only logical reason other than admitting
the truth. Actually broke it off and it was hard. Not because of
feelings or anything like that but I had to figure out what it
was I was breaking it off for. Was it because I'm hoping the
future will come sooner because maybe it'll have something
instore for us or do I do it because she's not the type of
woman I plan to marry. I did it for me. Atleast that's what I
tell myself. I hope it was for me because I can't bet on
you.