Quotes added on Tuesday, July 11 2017




You have too much faith in me. I need you to worry too,
because if not then it's too much pressure on me.
You have too much faith in me.
You see me as this perfect ideal.
You brush my worries over like they're nothing.
You think you're helping but it becomes a bigger burden.
So I can't trust you with this anymore.


 




She is kind to me. But she also doesn't like me. It's weird. I know for certain my success makes her feel uneasy, so she keeps me close at a safe distance to keep her eyes on me. It's weird. She goes out of her way to include me in group activities, she buys me expensive gifts on my birthday. But that's it. That's all our "friendship" is. Superficial sums it up in one word. It's weird. I know I should end it, but I use her too. But I don't want to be that type of person anymore.




You're always there when I need you, no matter the time. I can tell you anything, you know my everything. I can go weeks without texting you back. You're always on edge waiting. I don't know why I do it. Sometimes texting is a hassle. I know you'd understand, just a few words is all you need. But still. It's a hassle. I come back with excuses all the time. You accept them genuinely as if nothing happened. You're too good to me.

While I was taking off my clothes, I felt the cloud. I took off my shirt and my socks and got in shower. When I was in the shower, I felt the cloud getting closer. I know it wanted to drown me. It made me want it to. I felt you behind me and it was like a knife...its blade made me shiver. I put my face in the water and my heart was breaking and I saw myself when I looked at the bottom of the tub and I watched the water go down the drain and I turned into darkness...like a liquid cloud...and I mixed with the water...and I turned gray...and I washed away down the drain...and I wanted it. The cloud made me remember the first time it came...and every time it came...and I realized I dont know who I am. And now I never will. I will never get the chance. I gave up knowing myself alone...to always be with you...but thats not why I cried. I felt so exposed when you looked at me and I hated it... and I hate that I hated it..because every time you look at me I just want to feel loved...but the cloud made me feel like everything is wrong. The cloud makes me think that I should be the darkness and turn into gray and wash down the drain...and it makes me want to never get out of bed or brush my hair and it makes my eyes red and it makes my throat hurt and it makes my heart break and I cant breathe… and really I dont know why...and it sometimes goes away….and then it always comes back. It doesnt make sense but thats what it feels like when I feel the cloud....it wraps me up in its blanket to keep me close so no one else can touch me… and when someone else does...it feels like the knife.......and this is my life.
IF SOMEONE SAYS ''ARE YOU OK'' YOU SAY?
"Guarded" (Disturbed)
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
"Never Enough" (Five Finger Death Punch)
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GIRL/GUY?
"Breaking The Habit" (Linkin Park)
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"Tired" (Stone Sour)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
"Careless Whisper" (Seether)
WHAT'S YOUR MOTO?
"M.I.N.E. (End This Way)" (Five Finger Death Punch)
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
"Second Chance" (Shinedown)
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"Battle Born" (Five Finger Death Punch)
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"Happy?" (Mudvayne)
WHAT IS 2+2?
"The Nameless" (Slipknot)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"Who Taught You How To Hate" (Disturbed)
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"Fake It" (Seether)
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOUR GROW UP?
"I Don't Care" (Apocalyptica)
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"Indestructible" (Disturbed)
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"You're Going Down" (Sick Puppies)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"Stranger Than Fiction" (Five Finger Death Punch)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"Failure" (Breaking Benjamin)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
"Scissors" (Slipknot)
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"Innocence" (Disturbed)
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
"30/30-150" (Stone Sour)
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"Cold" (Crossfade)
100 TRUTHS QUIZ

1. Last beverage = Currently drinking chocolate milk.
2. Last phone call = I can't remember. XD
3. Last text message = It's been about a year (I haven't had service), so I have no idea. XD
4. Last song you listened to = Well, I'm currently listening to "Let This Go" by Five Finger Death Punch. :3
5. Last time you cried = I think I teared up a little. I cry alomst every day... (Don't judge. o.o)
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice = Yes...
7. Been cheated on = Yes ;-;
8. Kissed someone & regretted it= Never kissed anyone. XD
9. Lost someone special = Does a pet count? If so, than yes, multiple times. u.u
10. Been depressed =  I haven't had depression, but I've felt depressed before.
11. Been drunk and threw up = No way. o.o
FIRST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Black
13. Teal
14. Mint
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new BEST friend = Nope
16. Fallen in love = I guess? I had a crush on someone. It didn't last long, though.
18. Met someone who changed you = I guess so?
19. Found out who your true friends were = I'm constantly trying to figure that out.
20. Found out someone was talking about you = Not that I rmemeber.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list = No XD
22. How many people on your friends list do you know (IN REAL LIFE) = Nobody
23. How many kids do you want to have = None (It scares me.)
24. Do you have any pets = I have a Betta fish... that counts, right? XD
25. Do you want to change your name? = I used to want to, but I really don't care now.
26. What did you do for your last birthday = Stayed home. (My parents had a horse a carriage come and give rides.)
27. What time did you wake up today = Around 9:30 am. (I didn't want to. x.x)
28. What were you doing at midnight last night? = Uhh... I can't remember. Something on my laptop. XD
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = Well, I'm working with my parents to start making things (mostly wood rings), and selling them online. Haven't come very far with it, but I can't wait to have a bunch or stuff selling, so I can save up for a phone (and maybe get Spotify Premium again). :3
30. Last time you saw your Mother = Around 2:30 pm today. (It's currently 8:39 pm.)
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life?= At the moment, I don't really know. XD
32. What are you listening to right now = "Coming Undone" by KoRn. :3
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = If I have, I don't remember. XD
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now = Nothing (luckily).
35. Most visited webpage = Stardoll
36. What’s your name = Samantha
37. Nicknames= A couple people have called me Sammy. XD
38. Relationship Status = Single
39. Zodiac sign = Virgo (For some reason I wish it was Libra. Maybe it's because I used to love BeyBlade? XD)
40. Male / Female? = Female
41. Primary School = Homeschool
42. Middle School = Homeschool
43.Colleges = None (I'm not even sure if I'm gonna go.)
44. Hair color = Blonde
45. Long or short = Short-ish (I need it cut again.)
46.Perfume (current) = I don't use any.
47. Do you have a crush on someone? = Sorta
48: What do you like about yourself? = My taste in music? XD (Or maybe my art, if that counts.)
49. Piercings = None (I want some, but I'm afraid. x.x)
50. Tattoos = None (I like them, but I wouldn't get one.)
51. Righty or lefty = Righty :3
FIRSTS :
52. First surgery = I don't think I've ever had surgery.
53. First piercing = None
54. First best friend = Daisy...
55. First sport you joined = Softball
56. First vacation = I don't remember. XD
59. Eating = I had pudding recently. XD
60. Drinking = Still chocolate milk. XD
61. I’m about to = Huh?
62. Listening to = Again? XD "Psychsocial" by Slipknot. :3
63. Waiting for = The weekend.
64. Want kids? = Not really... (The two I deal with all the time never listen to me, and they drive me crazy. .-.)
65. Want to get married? = Yeah, I don't ever wanna live alone. XD
66. Career? = I don't know.
WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes= Eyes, I guess.
68. Hugs or kisses= Hugs
69. Shorter or taller= Taller? I don't really care.
70. Older or Younger= Younger
71. Romantic or spontaneous = Both?
72. Smart or good face = Both
73. Sensitive or loud = Both
74. Hook-up or relationship = Relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = Hesitant
HAVE YOU EVER:
76. Kissed a stranger = No
77. Drank hard liquor = No way.
78. Lost glasses/contacts = I lost my glasses before when I was little. XD
79. 'It' on first date = What? o.o
80. Broken someone’s heart = I don't think so.
81. Had your own heart broken = Yes u.u
82. Been arrested = No o.o
83. Turned someone down = Yeah, because I didn't know them very well.
84. Cried when someone died = ...Not yet. I know I will, though.
85. Fallen for a friend? = Yes...
  DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = Not really. u.u
87. Miracles = Yes
88. Love at first sight = No (I need to like a guy's personality.)
89. Heaven = Yes
90. Santa Claus = Nope XD
91. Kiss on the first date = No
92. Angels = Yes
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time = No
95. Did you sing today? = Yes, I love singing along to music. XD
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = No o.o
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?= Not sure.
98. If you could pick a day this year and relive it, what would it be? = May 27th
99. do you have one certain regret that you wish you could change more than anything? = Not that I can think of, sol probably not.
100. did you like this survey? Yep :3
"But you asked me to love you and did.
Traded my emotions for a contract tcommit."

"Carry me to heaven's arms

Light the way and let me go

Take the time to take my breath

I will end where I began"


-Breaking Benjamin

"Living in a world so cold, wasting away
Living in a shell with no soul, since you've gone away
Living in a world so cold, counting the days
Since you've gone away
You've gone away from me"
-Three Days Grace
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