Quotes added on Sunday, April 22 2018

tittle: to my love, im sorry by:cayla a. vega

i wanna scream without you
i don't wanna eat without you
all i wanna do is cry and sleep without you
i try to do all i can just to prove to you
that i can't live without you
baby you truly don't understand 
how it breaks me inside to not hold your hand
knowing my mistake will always haunt, over my head
its like a bullet to the chest, its just caving in
baby when you yelled at me
your words stabbed like a knife
but i guess its my fault, i deserve it right
i cant even look at my self in the mirror the same
and when i try to all i do is feel ashamed 
i cant believe i messed up and lost something so great
you dont understand how this relationship meant everything to me

*to be continued *

nicholas james gardner i will love you till the end of time.
theres never a day where i dont think about you
if i were able to change one thing in my whole life it would be that mistake
nothing else, even the hell i went through when i was younger 
because you made it better and now i have nothing
nothing 
no one who will make me feel special
who can tell me im beautful and ill believe it
who i can plan my future with....
i want you
I WANT YOU! AND ONLY YOU! DONT YOU SEE THAT!?!?!
i wanna yell at u for the other day
you made me think i had the one thing that made me excited to wake
that made me happy
that made me laugh
that made me smile
you made me think i had that back
bc u asked me out again
and i even asked if you were ready
and you, YOU said YES....
but then wen we called you said it was 50% in the moment
that was, that felt like a bullet to the chest....
and i forgive you because you didnt do really anything wrong....
but like a line in cinderella : i always wind up wishing and dreaming i dont suppose that does any good at all"
im wish and dreaming for you to come back but why would you?
its me?
why would you even think about it?
im horrible in my eyes
but when we were together in my eyes you made me feel good.
you didnt make me feel like a princess,
oh but you made me feel like a queen......
and i will try my best to return the same, i wanna make u feel like ur king
that ur not waiting to find a princess, but you had already had your queen.........
which i would have hoped to be me
but who was i kidding.....
ur to amazing, cute,funny, and smart for me....
ilysm nicholas james gardner.............
i hope you'll get together with me again but this time just not in the moment...

it feels as if you lost feelings, tbh it scares me...

Partly I'm depressed because of him. To be honest, everywhere I go, something always reminds me of him. I go to a place and I remember the times that we had there. I see a similar car of his, I think of him. The list goes on. Another part is past memories. I was much more happier back then. It was calming and nothing could stop me. I am being stopped from enjoying life because of my sadness. All of this is my fault because I let the thought get to me. I hate myself for letting myself feel the way I do.