Quotes added on Saturday, May 5 2018

It's not my parent's fault but i always felt like i grew up too fast. I don't really have a childhood that is nice to look back at. Nothing particularly sad happened. I had good times i'm sure, but if i were to pick a certain time i wouldn't be able to. For the most part, i think it came down to the fact that I never had time to be selfish.

By the time i was two there was already a new baby on the way. I wasn't a forgotten child or anything. To this day i still feel very loved by my family. But i don't know how else to put it. I never got the chance to be selfish over anything. I never questioned sharing, and if something was taken away and no longer mine, i always had to make myself feel okay about it. i never felt the stong need to defend myself in any argument. I didn't place any importance on what anyone else thought was right. Even if i felt wronged, i was never resilient. Even if i was being bullied, i always thought "oh, the bully must have it worse since they feel the need to take it out on me." I think that's a mature thought process that I wish i never had when i was so young.

I wish i wasn't as compassionate or empathetic. I would have made wholesome friends much earlier on, stood up to the bullies and had a happy childhood to look back at. My emotional intelligence grew much earlier on than i would have liked it to. I don't know. Obviously it's shaped me into who i am today...but i'm still not too sure how i feel about that yet.

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