Quotes added on Saturday, November 9 2019
i like being alive. well i don't
like like it but i'm doing it at least. it comes in waves. my
feelings and thoughts they change like anyone elses. for a while
i held myself up to an impossible standard. i didn't let
myself cry. that changed when i couldn't go one day without
crying. protip; if ur sad, just cry. you sleep a little better
too. when my world was ending i thought i was so rational. i
remember thinking to myself; everyday of your life is going to be
this bad so what's the point. it's scary how level headed
i thought i was. because it did make sense at the time. then
every new day was as bad as the last. and even when i had an
alright day -- it was just that, it was never good. it was just
alright. the alright days were rare and i didn't see the
point of living through the worst days just to feel alright.
i'm better now. i'll probably have another slump soon,
that's just how i am. but at least i know now. i can't
trick myself into thinking i know how my life will be. if
it's gonna be a long depressing life then i'll just have
to wait and see how depressing that ish can get. i can't know
for sure. just gotta do it. a soul was breathed into me, it's
still breathing. this heart is still beating. i can't give up
even one second before it does (otherwise that would be super
depressing).
