Funny Quotes

Isn'titsadwhen #3
you and your friend
get told the simplest joke
and she doesn't get it..

yeh my life is fucked up but at least i have one

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^haha idk this is stupid but ohh well [=
baybiee_cakes!

I SHAKE IT LIKE JELLO MAKE THE BOYS SAY HELLO

2 girls are shopping. girl 1 trys on a top.
GIRL 1: oh crap it dunt fit!
GIRL 2: are you chatting some sort a shit?1 it doesnt fit!

guy: YOU KNOW WHAT. SUCK IT!
girl: I'm sorry, my mommy told me not to put small objects in my mouth.(: but thanks anyway!



(not mine i thout it was funny)

<sub>Boy: I dont know why you wear a bra, you have nothing to put it in.
 Girl: You wear pants... dont you?


i do not take credit I just thought it was funny</sub>

One Thing You Should Never Say to a Cop_*
When he says " Hey kid, have you been drinking, your eyes look red. "
Just don't say back " Hey officer, have you been eating donuts, your eyes look glazed."

girl - your not allowed to swear!

boy - fuck
shit
bastard
twat
cunt
prick
arsehole
dick
wanka
bitch
hoe
hore

girl - well i dont give a fucking shit as long as i dont fucking get into shit :P 

You’ve got a bit of a temper, don’t you?
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 5, p.90 Your boyfriend seems to think I’m being unpleasant to you — he’s debating whether or not to come break up our fight.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 5, p.90 Kryptonite doesn’t bother me, either.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 5, p.92 What if I’m not a superhero? What if I’m the bad guy?
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 5, p.92 It’s healthy to ditch class now and then.
Edward Cullen, Twilight, Chapter 5, p.93