Hot Funny Quotes
MyCousin’sSoBlonde;;
she got [locked in the b a t h r o o m]
& almost peed her pants .
9
YOUR MOM.
What's with you and my mother?
I Hate It When People Ask
1) Can I ask you a question? (didnt gimme a choice there, did ya sunshine?)
2) Did you get a haircut? (no it shrunk..)
3) Did you lose weight? (yeah. it just vanished.)
4) Did you catch a fish? (nope. i talked it into giving himself up.)
5) *waiter* Table for how many? (one hundred and twelve. us 3 would like to switch seats every 4 minutes)
6) Were you sitting there? (yes. me and my imaginary friend martin.)
7) Your not wearing that out are you? (actually, i was planning on going naked)
8) Is that yours? (no i stole it...)
9) *watching a trick* Am i supposed to pick a card? (no your supposed to pick your nose?)
10) Are you going to eat that? (only if you want it)
11) *doctor* How are you today? (Great! I just like your company)
12) *clerk at store* Is that all? (actually. i'm hiding the rest. but you can't have it...)
13) Where did you get that accent? (i bought it on ebay)
14) Hey, are you moving? (nope. we just like to pack our stuff up in boxes every week)
15) Are you always funny? (no, i only make a special effort on tuesdays and thursdays)
_____ credittt :D _______
((_____i love this!!_____))
1) Can I ask you a question? (didnt gimme a choice there, did ya sunshine?)
2) Did you get a haircut? (no it shrunk..)
3) Did you lose weight? (yeah. it just vanished.)
4) Did you catch a fish? (nope. i talked it into giving himself up.)
5) *waiter* Table for how many? (one hundred and twelve. us 3 would like to switch seats every 4 minutes)
6) Were you sitting there? (yes. me and my imaginary friend martin.)
7) Your not wearing that out are you? (actually, i was planning on going naked)
8) Is that yours? (no i stole it...)
9) *watching a trick* Am i supposed to pick a card? (no your supposed to pick your nose?)
10) Are you going to eat that? (only if you want it)
11) *doctor* How are you today? (Great! I just like your company)
12) *clerk at store* Is that all? (actually. i'm hiding the rest. but you can't have it...)
13) Where did you get that accent? (i bought it on ebay)
14) Hey, are you moving? (nope. we just like to pack our stuff up in boxes every week)
15) Are you always funny? (no, i only make a special effort on tuesdays and thursdays)
_____ credittt :D _______
((_____i love this!!_____))
LESSON OF THE DAY.
never put grapes in the microwave.
they MIGHT explode.
never put grapes in the microwave.
they MIGHT explode.
I would like Michael Jackson way more if he was the King of
P♥PSICLES.
P♥PSICLES.
Today,
I changed my dad's name in my contacts to Darth Vader,
And then promptly forgot who it was.
He texted me, and I asked who it was.
He said "I am your father."
I changed my dad's name in my contacts to Darth Vader,
And then promptly forgot who it was.
He texted me, and I asked who it was.
He said "I am your father."
Come to the light side.
We have stolen the dark sides cookies!
We have stolen the dark sides cookies!
Did you know............
that if you say "bear can" with a British accent, it sounds like you're saying "bacon" with a Jamaican accent!
that if you say "bear can" with a British accent, it sounds like you're saying "bacon" with a Jamaican accent!
lol this blew my mind!
it really works!
if you tried and then fav!!
G i r l s ,
we must learn that we can't be nice to everyone all the time ;;
there are moments in your life when you need to unleash your inner
B i T C H (:
we must learn that we can't be nice to everyone all the time ;;
there are moments in your life when you need to unleash your inner
B i T C H (:
Santa Claus
The code name for a pedifile that has cannot be caught
because he knows when your awake. Think about it...first
he watches children to see if the are being "naughty" or
"nice" then on christmas eve he breaks into home in the
middle of the night, leaves "presents" for little "boys and
girls", eat ALL the cookies and drinks up all the white stuff
then leaves with a sadistic "ho ho ho".
The code name for a pedifile that has cannot be caught
because he knows when your awake. Think about it...first
he watches children to see if the are being "naughty" or
"nice" then on christmas eve he breaks into home in the
middle of the night, leaves "presents" for little "boys and
girls", eat ALL the cookies and drinks up all the white stuff
then leaves with a sadistic "ho ho ho".
kid1* did santa claus come to your house last night?
kid2* i...i don't wanna talk about it *bursts into tears*
- urbandictionary.com
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