Hot Funny Quotes

I'M PROUD TO BE A GIRL;

We got off the Titanic first.
Taxis stop for us.
We dont look like a frog in a blender when trying to dance.
We dont have to [(pass gas)] to amuse ourselves.
We can congratulate a friend, without ever touching their rear end.
We can actually talk about our problems, without any awkwardness.
We never have to reach down every so often, to be sure our private parts are still there.
We have the ability to [(dress ourselves)] without looking like the next candidate for "What Not To Wear."
We can talk to the opposite sex >>without<< having to picture them naked.
There, indeed, are times when chocolate can solve your problems.
We make comments about how [(silly)] guys are, while they're standing right there,
'Cause they're not listening anyways.

face it,
girls rule, boys drool.
quote number 1163479
filed under funny
  302
Today for Halloween, I had to pass out candy to the little kids. When I looked to my neighbor's yard, he just left a bucket full of candy with a sign saying "Please take two" and there was a garbage can right next to it. I saw a little kid laugh and try to take a handful, until my neighbor popped out of the trash can in a mask yelling " I SAID TAKE TWO!" The kid ran away crying. This happened about 18 more times.
MLIA
quote number 1163161
filed under funny
  234

there is only one of me in this entire universe

[[ w o w  i ' m  a n  e n d a n g e r e d  s p e c i e s  ]]



quote number 1172207
filed under funny
  225

The
most lied to girl question:

"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."


The most lied to boy question:

"Got gum?"
"Nah man, just ate the last piece."


don't jockk my idea.

quote number 1166839
filed under funny
  201









w
elcome to higschool!


where   a   girls   confidence   drops   faster   than  a
slut dropping on her knees when a guy asks her for a

blow job.










quote number 1170424
filed under funny
  190
Last night,
 
I saw a little girl in a blonde wig and crazy clothes.
At first, I didnt know what she was, so I asked her. Her response?
"A slut." While I gasped in suprise, her mom ran up and said,
"No, no, Kayla! That's a bad word!" Then she turned to me and said,
"She's Hannah Montana." I love Halloween.
 

MLIA
quote number 1164878
filed under funny
  171
Manger le merde, putain.
That's right I just said:
eat shit, bitch. "
(:
quote number 1173076
filed under funny
  169
It's Time For Me To Say This, Addressing All You Guys.
[Except   for    all    the    drag    queens,    who    deserve   a   nobeprize)
But  the  straight  guys,  they  don't  realize,  what  we  go  through  everyday,  and  it's  alot.
Now it's time for all                    us                 females to remind you just in case you all forgot,
The seven things guys don't have to do!
Shave legs, Give birth, Aunt flow, Wear skirts, Wax armpits,   Hey    it    hurts!
Wear pantyhoes, and paint your toes, too.         High heels,              Pluck brows,              Skip meals,              Count pounds,
(Some                 girls                 have                to                  carry                     heavy               mounds)
We're way               past     seven     now     but     I'll     keep     going     anyhow.
Uncomfy thongs,                Tight bras,             Tampons,                        Blow our money on beauty salons,    Flat iron burns.
&&health concerns From hair dye fumes.    And the reason why We do these crazy things
That we do,              Is we do it for you.
quote number 1163104
filed under funny
  168
So lately, everyone keeps saying JFGI
But instead of being a noob and asking what it meant,
I decided to google it.
Definition?
just fucking google it.
I laughed until I cried.


quote number 1167497
filed under funny
  166
Today, my father called me to ask where I was. I quickly replied in Spanish class. He said "Sorry" and hung up. Today is Saturday, I've never taken Spanish, and he called me on the HOUSE phone. 
                                        
MLIA. <3
                            mylifeisaverage.com
quote number 1163150
filed under funny
  163

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