Top Quotes This Month

Some days I can’t stomach the thought of living without you. It makes me so sick. I’m having one of those days. I keep looking at my phone hoping you’ll call me to ask me how my days going. I keep checking FB to see if maybe I’ll see something you posted. Keep going through your photos, reminiscing because sometimes it’s the closest thing to keeping you here with me. Go through memories like it was yesterday. It’s not the real thing. It don’t even come close. I wish you were here. I miss you so much. I wish I could just talk to you. Maybe you could make sense of what’s going on around me. I’m hoping you’ll greet me in the next life. I just want to see you smile again. Life ain’t ever been the same since you walked through that door. I just wish I got to say goodbye.
Some days I can’t stomach the thought of living without you. It makes me so sick. I’m having one of those days. I keep looking at my phone hoping you’ll call me to ask me how my days going. I keep checking FB to see if maybe I’ll see something you posted. Keep going through your photos, reminiscing because sometimes it’s the closest thing to keeping you here with me. Go through memories like it was yesterday. It’s not the real thing. It don’t even come close. I wish you were here. I miss you so much. I wish I could just talk to you. Maybe you could make sense of what’s going on around me. I’m hoping you’ll greet me in the next life. I just want to see you smile again. Life ain’t ever been the same since you walked through that door. I just wish I got to say goodbye.
I created this account when I was 13. I used it until I was 15. It was an outlet for me that I really needed through middle school to beginning highschool. 
After a sleepless night of thinking about my past, I remembered this website. Surprisingly enough, I still knew my login. I wanted to post something for younger me...here's an update to young Lexie:

You are now 25.
You have had many first kisses. 
Music has always been and still is your favorite thing. 
One Direction broke up years ago. 
You have several tatoos now.
You've seen My Chemical Romance in concert.
You made it to New York City.
fastest land animal

honey hit me where it hurts.
come on, make me feel like dirt.

you think i don't know while i know you do.
just say it ain't so and it'll all be good.

i've been thinking about it lately.
back when your cheeks would flush all rosie.

i think i've lost my touch
i think i'm going to have to change it up.

it's a new passcode,
now i don't answer when you call.
when exactly are you going to catch on?

sometimes in the face of adversity you crumble.
sometimes it takes too much out of you to remain strong.
sometimes your environment takes too much of a toll on you.

sometimes it's okay to not blame myself for things i can't control.
sometimes i can go easy on myself for wasting another day away.
sometimes i do just need to eat junk and binge watch dr who to make myself feel better.

sometimes a nap in the afternoon is warranted without the excuse of a hectic morning.
sometimes tough love isn't enough.
sometimes i need to parent myself in a way that i was not parented.

take it day by day.
that's what i've always done.
and it's the only thing that always worked.
"i never knew what game you were playing, but i always had to keep score. sometimes you were sensitive and critical. after the storm, the calm would come. in the form of reassurance and splendid gifts of adoration. a fight meant a cuddle later. my tears falling signposted to remorse and your apologies. there was this pattern with you. bitter then sweet. cold then hot. always keeping me on my toes, until i decided to stop."
Dear Megha,I cannot stop thinking about the good times we used to have together. For so long, simply being in your company brought a smile to my face. Since we’ve broken up, I have spent far too much of my time consumed by memories of us. I am continuously recounting all of the wonderful memories we’ve shared, and as the days pass by, I have realized more and more that I can’t see a future for myself without you.I am so disappointed that we grew apart and ultimately aren’t together anymore. My heart cannot bear the thought of not being with you, and I deeply wish to give us another chance. I’d like to talk to you again, when you have the time. Please reach out to me.SincerelyVishal
Stop it Stupid 

I was so stupid, I was a fool
But they didn't teach me this in school
'Stop it, stupid!' had I told myself
My stupidity would have ended with this tool

We all get angry, we all do fear
We are idiots, year after year
How can we stop this misery and pain
How to stop being foolish, again and again

The first step is to realize our ignorance
The second is to put a stop to it
We must tell our mind to stop
We must make this a habit

The mind is a monkey, a rascal our mind
It wants to make us suffer, we find
But we are not fools, we know, don't we?
How from this rascal, can we be free?


'Stop it, stupid!', 'Stop it, stupid!', 'Stop it, stupid!' repeat
Till the monkey mind can feel the heat
Then, watch it, catch it, latch it, secure
So that it does not repeat the thing anymore

We all are stupid, we all are fools
And to overcome stupidity, there are simple tools
The most important is to realize the truth
Who are we, get to the bottom of the root

We are not the stupid Body, Ego and Mind
We are intelligent, this truth we must find
This realization will stop us from being a slave
Will liberate us from misery, before we reach our grave

For pain and suffering is only for those
To go on a quest, who did not choose
They live with misery, they believe in the myth
They continue with ignorance, till they die with it

So, we must Ask, Investigate, Realize the Truth
Kill the rascal mind, the monkey, the brute
Transcend the Mind and Ego that says, 'ME'
Till from all stupidity we are free

We must be still and live in Consciousness
If we want to put an end to all the mess
When we are fools, we must stop and know
And overcome the stupidity before the end of the show

But many of us are stupid till we die
We look up at the sky, cry and ask ,'Why?'
We don't use our intellect to stop our stupidity
We just live with stress, worry and anxiety

Some of us want to end this mess
We don't want misery, we don't want stress
The Mantra 'Stop it, stupid!' we put to use
And with it, an end to all abuse

So what must we do, what is the trick?
What will end our misery with just one click?
We must be stern and tell ourselves looking in the eye
Till to that repeated stupidity, we bid goodbye

I did it myself, I share with you
I stopped my stupidity, this is true
To end my foolishness, I found a way
 'Stop it, stupid!' to yourself, please say


And till you stop being stupid, repeat it
Don't feel bad, it's better to erase it
We have a choice, acknowledge stupidity and then rise
'Stop it, stupid!' is the way of the wise

Some people are heartbroken, they cry in love
They break their hearts, and then look above
They cry in love, they suffer in pain
They are stupid, again and again

Some people are attached, this brings them tears
The misery is not short, it lasts for years
If only they use this Mantra of happiness
'Stop it, stupid!' it can give peace and bliss

'Stop it, stupid!' a Mantra I share with you
Use it and you will stop feeling blue
Realize your ignorance and to make amend
Say, 'Stop it, stupid!' and put your misery to an end
"what are you working towards,
what's your end goal?
saving up for a house or car?
marriage or for your family?"

it caught me off guard.

you asked questions i didn't have the answers to yet.
you asked questions that left me feeling stunned and teary eyed when you left.
what am i doing this all for.
why exactly am i trying so hard.
those thoughts took turns taking laps in my head ever since you asked.
my anxious black dog

i think it will always be like this.
this tight, lurking, dreary, unsettling feeling.
this all encompassing, yet discrete, gnawing feeling.
this thing that is always with me.

i think it will just always be like this.
*sigh*
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