20 minutes ago I
stopped myself from walking off a platform in front of an
incoming train and 15 minutes ago I started texting my
friends and 14 minutes ago I gave up on asking for their help
amd 14 minutes ago I started crying alone in a train station
and 8 minutes ago I started walking home and 20 minutes ago I
didn't die but 6 minutes ago I realised I still wanted
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don't want a glamorous tragedy, i want a boring happy
Did you know that when a star implodes,
for a few days, it can be brighter than an entire galaxy?
I still have light in my eyes from the way that you left
I still wait for my core to collapse like a black hole
and suck everything into it
when I meet someone else with your name.
it's been six months and
i'm still angry at you. don't be fooled by anything i
sent you or by however kind i seemed to be talking to you for the
past six months. i'm going to make it clear right now that I
DON'T want you back and i NEVER will, before you jump to any
conclusions that this is going to be another sappy passage about
how much i miss you and acting like we're going to have a
i did all the things they tell
you to do after a breakup. i did all the things they tell you to
do to get over someone. i've met new people who appreciate me
for who i am. i've had various people tell me that you
weren't worth my time. but you know, the funny thing is, i
could have the whole world in favor of me and against you and
i'd still hate you. all the things that i'd thought would
help didn't because you damaged me that much.
six months after a break up with no
communication, most people would feel indifferent towards their
exes, some even friends with them. worst case scenario, their ex
would only be a passing thought with only a small wave of pain.
but YOU, you disposed of me. you treated me like i was nothing to
you, you killed my self esteem, you caused me so much anxiety,
you disrespected me, you lied to me, and you went back to the
girl you know you secretly still wanted to be with within weeks.
i wish you could have just stayed with her because you two are
obviously perfect together and you seem to like her more than
you've ever liked me.
people ask me why i am still hostile towards
you, they tell me to "grow up" they ask me, "why
are you still in pain?" and i tell them "how would you
feel if you were just disposed of like that?" when someone
shows you how unimportant you are, it has a lasting effect. any
aggravation and distaste i give you you sure as hell
have fun with the girl of your dreams. but watch out for karma,
because it's going to kick your αss.