think of crying as a way to get rid of all the bad stuff... but

think of crying as a way to get rid of all the bad stuff... but lately i can't get myself to cry... and right now i want it i want for get rid of you for just a moment and let me relax without worrying about what i should do to keep you or if you even should be with me. right now i cannot take it... i need a desicion i want to forget that we're best friends forget that one thing thats holding us back and take a chance... we both know why it wouldn't work out if one of us ended it i... i cannot beleive i am saying this but if being with you means being heart broken in the end im all for it because i want you and i need you now... that means as soon as possible but you would be the perfect birthday present. please just take a risk you wouldn't mess it up i'd... eventually bounce back... but now that i think about it why would i want you if i knew id be trying to get over you ... i don't want to get over you! i want to dance with you and only you at my brithday party i want forget all those other guys that ask me to dance and stay with you the entire night just to hear you laugh at the weird people dancing together and this time i don't want your friend right behind you messing with you i just want you close to me for a while even if that means for just one song... but baby don't mess with my heart you don't wanna be that kinda guy and if you do end up like that again breaking my heart again then my friends might tell me that i should hate you and they want to hurt you but i don't want that i won't let them you mean too much to me just to let it all slip away and i remember the first day at school we went out and you had just broken up with your other girlfriend_{(im sorry caroline you'll see why im typing this all in the end)} you had flashed that bright smile at me and asked me if I'd gotton any threats and just that was enough to make my heart skip a beat but you best beleive i love you as your best friend as more we won't know that and i hate when people say you don't fall iin love til your older because i no theres all that crap about hormones but when you find that person you no it you feel it in your gut and you being my firast love might be all it is but your my first so what am i supposed to do why on earth can i not get over you....


so if you've read all of this you are gonna find out why i typed it all... even after typing that all and listening to the song that doesnt even remind me of you but is that sappy sweet stuff that i actually like i still cannot shead a tear...