i'd like to go
on pretending
that your
eyes don't sparkle around her like gems
that when you hug her you don't hold her tighter than you ever
held me
that you don't keep your phone on you every minute of every day
in case she texts you
that your hand doesn't find its way to hers when your walking
together
that you two won't last very long
but lying to myself
is d e
s t r o y i n g me