I don't know what I want better: to love or to leave this sweet

I don't know what I want better: to love or to leave this sweet sensation.
this curse..this gift...this revelation...
It hurts me badly and only reminds me of what can't be mine
but it also fills me with ectasy beyond my imagination.
It is my imagination, that's telling me that you're the one who will make my dreams come true.
I love to pretend you are mine. to pretend to know the feeling of your lips and your hands on mine. to pretend that you have feelings for me that are just as passionate. to pretend that I am the only woman in your world.
but then, I catch myself and realize, I'm just a girl if I pretend this much. none of it's real. it's all in my imagination...