Dear
Anthony,
Your my big brother and I love you. But you obviously don't feel the same way. It took someone to die for you to be nice for me for a day. When Papa died you let me wear your sweatshirt almost like to protect me on our way home, from facing what would be there when we parked. That same Thursday night then you let me cry into your shoulder while you wrapped your arms around me and held me there while trying to hold it back your self. squeezing me tighter and tighter trying to make it all go away. It was the first time you have ever tried to comfort me and I know its a last. You didn't do it out of the kindness of your heart. Mom told you do to be nice and caring. The only genuine thing you did was when you tried to comfort me then. After that day while we got ready for the funeral and ever since then (even though this is normal for you.) you were just demanding and just cause your 18 you tried to act like you could control me and maybe if you gave me more respect I would have listened.
You never answer my texts or phone calls. You always tell me you are working when I know for a fact you aren't I text you around 3 in the afternoon and you work 3rd shift so how are you working buddy? You aren't. I am not stupid bub. You forgot my birthday, even 2 days before that when I talked to you for the first time in 5 weeks you promised me you would remember it. But you forgot anyways. Every time I see you if I see you at all I just want to you to run up to me and hug me and tell me you love and miss me just like I do to you. But you say it to Sophia and she just seven and doesn't even care. She has a big brother. Jacob may be younger then you but I don't have a big brother other then you and I don't want a big brother other then you. When ever you do visit for my favorite 15 minutes of the month you hardly even meet my eyes. When I try to hug you I don't want you to push me away again and hug Sophia (my little sister and yours) without a second glance at me. I know I'm not invisible but maybe to you I am.
I really do love you. I miss you. What the fudge did I do? Why can't you just be more like Cordairo? We aren't even related but we are friends and he actually takes time out of his day to say hi to me. We actually have normal person to person conversations. And we actually wave to each other as we walk by in the streets. Or why can't you be more like Spencer? He's just our cousin but at least we talk almost everyday and he listens when I need him to & I listen when he needs me to. He actually tells me that he loves me and misses me when you don't even talk to me. Spencer lives 3 and a half hours away from Nashua all the way to Albany New York and me and him are still closer then me and you have ever been.
I'm sorry i'm such a disgrace to you I wish I was different for you.
But i'm sorry I can't be despite my several efforts.
Your my big brother and I love you. But you obviously don't feel the same way. It took someone to die for you to be nice for me for a day. When Papa died you let me wear your sweatshirt almost like to protect me on our way home, from facing what would be there when we parked. That same Thursday night then you let me cry into your shoulder while you wrapped your arms around me and held me there while trying to hold it back your self. squeezing me tighter and tighter trying to make it all go away. It was the first time you have ever tried to comfort me and I know its a last. You didn't do it out of the kindness of your heart. Mom told you do to be nice and caring. The only genuine thing you did was when you tried to comfort me then. After that day while we got ready for the funeral and ever since then (even though this is normal for you.) you were just demanding and just cause your 18 you tried to act like you could control me and maybe if you gave me more respect I would have listened.
You never answer my texts or phone calls. You always tell me you are working when I know for a fact you aren't I text you around 3 in the afternoon and you work 3rd shift so how are you working buddy? You aren't. I am not stupid bub. You forgot my birthday, even 2 days before that when I talked to you for the first time in 5 weeks you promised me you would remember it. But you forgot anyways. Every time I see you if I see you at all I just want to you to run up to me and hug me and tell me you love and miss me just like I do to you. But you say it to Sophia and she just seven and doesn't even care. She has a big brother. Jacob may be younger then you but I don't have a big brother other then you and I don't want a big brother other then you. When ever you do visit for my favorite 15 minutes of the month you hardly even meet my eyes. When I try to hug you I don't want you to push me away again and hug Sophia (my little sister and yours) without a second glance at me. I know I'm not invisible but maybe to you I am.
I really do love you. I miss you. What the fudge did I do? Why can't you just be more like Cordairo? We aren't even related but we are friends and he actually takes time out of his day to say hi to me. We actually have normal person to person conversations. And we actually wave to each other as we walk by in the streets. Or why can't you be more like Spencer? He's just our cousin but at least we talk almost everyday and he listens when I need him to & I listen when he needs me to. He actually tells me that he loves me and misses me when you don't even talk to me. Spencer lives 3 and a half hours away from Nashua all the way to Albany New York and me and him are still closer then me and you have ever been.
I'm sorry i'm such a disgrace to you I wish I was different for you.
But i'm sorry I can't be despite my several efforts.
-Emily
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