every time I see you, I fight back tears because I don't

every time I see you,
I fight back tears
because I don't want anyone to know
how much you meant to me.
No matter how much I try not to,
I still cry myself to sleep at night, 
hoping you know,
- how much I trusted you,
- how much I miss you,
- how much you meant to me,
- how you were there when the world wasn't,
- how you promised you'd be there forever
- how you made me happy when nobody else could,
- and you understood how I felt,
- you always knew how to make me laugh,
- to help me when I didn't know
- to keep my secrets,
- to include me when I was left out
- to just see my face and know something's wrong
- and listen when I needed someone
but I won't know if you'll miss me too
and the worst part about letting you go,
is pretending I don't care about you.
even though this won't change a thing...
I just needed you to know.
you'll always be in my heart
as a great friend ♥