This time 1 month ago, I would have just been sitting on my bed,

This time 1 month ago,
I would have just been sitting on my bed,  staring at the wall, wishing that I could see
her again.  I would have refused to be happy,  and every time I was in a good mood I
would suddenly think "James,  how can you be happy?  Your best friend,  the person
who you loved the most,  the one person who really understood you...  She's gone.    
You'll never see her beautiful smile or hear her laugh again.  She's gone."
& Now?  Now I'm going to stop being a selfish idiot.  She would have wanted me to be
happy,  she always hated me being sad.  Truth is,  when I started school,  I was blind.
I was always laughed at for being blind,  and Bethany was the only one who didn't make
fun of me at some stage.  Since then,  I recovered from my blindness (don't ask how.)
and Bethany was still my best friend.  I made more friends,  but Bethany was always
the closest.  I really loved her.  Like I said,  she always hated me being sad,  and since
she died in front of me on that day - February 28th, 2011 - I've been more than sad.
I've been suicidal.  But there's no more of that now.  I'm not going to die for her,  I'm
going to live for her.  It's what she wants.  I'm going to smile as often as I can,  and I'm
going to celebrate the fact that she really lived, even if it was only for 13 years.             
I'm on the road to recovery.
I love you,  Bethany.
Rest in Peace.
[♥][♥][♥]