I didn't choose this. I didn't want this. If I could

I didn't choose this. I didn't want this. If I could just get rid of it, I would. It runs my life. Everything I do revolves around it. I don't know when it started. I barely understand why it started. But i know I didn't start it. This is your fault. All my life you made me strive for the best. Made me feel like the best was all I could do. Now the best is all I'm comfortable with doing. I've sat down and cried for hours because I achieved just under the best. Instead of an A I got a B. That's not acceptable. When people ask me why I do this, the only answer I can give them is I don't know, because truly I don't know. I don't know why everything has to be perfect. I don't know why I'm not okay with average. It's just who I am, and I hate it. I have a problem. I hate knowing I have a problem. Because having a problem is not perfect. and perfect is not okay. or at least, for me perfect is not okay. But I didn't bring this upon myself. You did, my parents. You are the ones who showed me that being perfect is accepted, that being perfect is what's wanted. now, all i can be is perfect. because perfect is the only thing that I believe shows me acceptance. and I can't get over it. there is no way of leaving this behind me. I'm stuck with this forever
My name is Kennedie.
&& I'm a Perfectionist.
If you read this. thank you. so much.♥