♥ ♥♥ Julie, I would have to say, I miss

♥ ♥♥

Julie,
I would have to say, I miss you most (no offense to anyone else I wrote to).  We were like sisters.  We were inseparable.  I trusted you so much. And I broke that trust. And I can never truly forgive myself for that.  But I'm sorry for not trying harder. For not explaining.  For not apologizing like I really should have.  I'm sorry for saying things in vain.  I'm sorry for letting boys come between us. Boys, for heaven's sakes.  It is so. fudging. stupid when I look back on it.  I mean, first off, that one tall person wasn't even worth the trouble.  He was the one who was playing with my emotions, and stringing us both along.  You weren't the problem, even though I tried to say you were because I was stupid and I liked him so I made excuses for him.  Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I just can't even get over how stupid the whole thing is.  And then I didn't even try to make things right, or fix things, or try to talk to you.  I was just like, "Okay, I'm gonna sit here and feel sorry for myself and blame my problems on everyone else." Stew. Freaking. Pid.  I mentally kick myself when I think about it and know that I let a beautiful friendship and a beautiful person go.  And I know today you said that people are mad that we're being "civil," but I don't want to be civil.  I want things to be back to how they were.  I want to be able to confide in you and take a million stupid pictures with you and just be silly.  
I want you to be my best friend again.


 

nmf/nmq                                                                                                                                                          ♥♥♥