11:11; make a
wish
--------------- preface --------
A l a r i c e ' s p . o . v
What if every 11:11, birthday, and shooting star wish came
true?
I woke up to my alarm clock
yelling at me loudly. "Ugh. Sunday.
Church." I say to myself, as I hit the
clock.
I stumbled out of bed and run straight to my closet.
"What to wear. What to wear." I say, tapping my
feet in confusion. I look into my closet, and grab the
first thing I see; a white ruffled dress. I get myself into
the dress and walk downstairs. As I glance at the clock, I
see the 4 numbers that are being displayed. 11:11.
"Gosh. I just wish the church would set on
fire.." I pop a piece of bread into the toaster and
walk slowly away. Just then, my mom runs frantically into
the kitchen and stares. "Alarice, I just got a call
from the church. Somebody in the kitchen started a
fire."
I look deeply into my mothers eyes with confusion, and
without hesitation, I run upstairs to my
room.
I noticed you switched tenses quite a few times in the chapter though. Be careful, that can confuse readers. Since the previous prologue was in present tense, I would do the same for this.
I would also make more paragraphs. Everything seems clumped together into one big paragraph...
I like the idea of this; the fact that the wishes at 11:11 seem to be answered are interesting. Is it just coinsidence? (Hah, I highly doubt that!) And is it only when you wish on an 11:11 that wishes come true?
Anyway, I enjoyed it. :) Good job.
I love it :D
Make sure to give it lots of twists and surprises!