Just another broken girl who's trying to vent Why am i never

Just another broken girl
who's trying to vent
Why am i never good enough for anyone? why do i have to be a little prettier a little smarter a little skinnier a little taller a little funnier and the list goes on ?. i just feel like i'm pushing away the people i love, everyone i love leaves me in the end, but i don't really blame them, it's not thier fault that i'm so fuucking complicated. i just want someone to stick till the very end, someone who understands. but maybe i should understand myself first.. , i feel lost, am i really that hard to be around ? am i a bad person ?. 'caus lately i'v been feeling that way. It's kinda hard for me to keep friends, i ALWAYS push them away, maybe they get tired of me , of how my mood can change in a blink of an eye, of my weirdness, but mostly they get tired of Me. it's kinda funny 'cause i'm tired of Me too. i don't know why i get so close to people when i know they will leave, every time i meet someone new and i feel comfortable around them, i just assume that they will not leave, but in the back of my mind i know they will. i Always give the best advices, i'm always there for everyone, but when i'm sad .. who's there ? NO ONE. I'm so fuucking tired of being the shoulder everyone crys on, I want to live for me .. at least for once !! i dont know who i am anymore, i don't know what to do with my life, i don't know what to care about, i don't know who will be there for me.
i'm just a sad sad robot.