I
do this thing where I push people.
I push people away.
I push people away that do not derseve to be pushed.
I push them away so I can forget about what happened.
So I do not have to acknowledge it.
I push and push until they are gone.
But deep down, I did not forget & I do acknowledge
it.
I beat myself up about it.
It eats me from the inside out.
I have no one to help me with it
because I pushed them all away.
I want someone to stay.
I want someone to see through the pushing.
I want someone to look at me and say "I know you are not
okay,
so do not push me away,. I want to help you."
I just want someone that will push me back.
Push me forward and stay with me.
But that is a lot to ask.
I know you are not okay! i just want to help you! Please dont push me away!