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YOLO is carpe diem for dumb people.
for dumb people.
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10 Wittians like this
posted May 22, 2012 at 2:19am UTC tagged with
more quotes by beccar0ni
Hey, I heard you were a wild one i nmf.
How to get rejected by your Crush Be at a place in your life where you’re desperate for companionship. Your mind is starting to play tricks on you. You’re getting crushes on the person who works at your corner deli, your friends’ significant others, a beautiful elm tree. You’re so starving for love that you allow yourself to fall before there’s anyone even there to catch you. Meet someone through a friend or at a party or online and really, really like them. You know you can’t really trust yourself these days (Is this person really great or are you just eager to get into a relationship?) but dive head first anyway. Make jokes and bring your boyfriend or girlfriend game. Behave like an eligible person who deserves to be in a relationship. At a certain age, it’s assumed that if you’re still single it’s because you’re defective. You’re not though. You’ve just been unfairly passed over. So joke, joke, joke. Touch, touch, touch. Follow the script. You think you’re getting somewhere here. Have the other person be hard to read. They do things like pick an eyelash out of your eye or pour you a glass of water without asking that makes you think that they’re super into you. Who picks an eyelash out of someone’s eye unless they want to marry them?! Right, guys?! You hold on to these flirty actions like they’re Jesus Christ. You subsist on them like a starving child who’s having their first meal in months. They fuel your delusions. They keep you happy. Think about your crush constantly. Try to ignore the fact that you’ve only hung out like twice and you barely know them. That doesn’t matter. You’re thinking about what COULD be. You COULD be this person’s boyfriend. You COULD make them fall in love with you. It’s like they’re a blank sketch of a human being and you’re filling in the lines. Analyze every little thing they do to you. Feel distant when they don’t talk to you for ten minutes when you all go out to get drinks with friends. Decide that this means they hate you and will never want to see you naked. Start to feel discouraged and wonder that they might not be into you after all. (Note: This whole crushing process has only been 7 days long.) Realize that the only way you can return to normal is if you just ask them flat out, “DO YOU LIKE ME?” Do so over text message one day in the middle of the afternoon and feel like you’re going to throw up. Feel pathetic that someone you barely know can have this effect on you. Wait a few hours to hear back and wish you could just take an Ambien at 6pm and wake up in the morning to their text message. Hear back from them right before bed. They’re not into it. No need to even go into the wording of it. The message is always the same. Feel a wave of sadness come over you and immediately be embarrassed about it. You don’t know what’s more shameful: Being rejected by a near stranger or being devastated by that rejection. Vow to toughen up. Vow to stop trying so hard. If you stop caring, you won’t be disappointed. But, wait, isn’t that impossible? Does anyone ever truly not care about finding love? They say love happens when you’re not looking for it but that’s a silly joke. We’re always looking. It’s human nature to want to be found. It’s human nature to also get crushed by your crushes, no matter how pointless they seem. It’s always important to remember this though: Crushes are usually almost always about you. They form in your head, you water the crush plants, and then they wither and die in your head. It’s rarely ever about who the other person truly is. How can you truly care so much about someone when you never had them?
We met in kindergarten. We were best friends. She always told me she loved my eyes. I didn't quite know why. I was in love with her, so of course my face lit up immensely whenever she said it. She was beautiful, kind, and extremely funny. We'd be talking about nothing, and she'd turn to me and whisper, "I like your eyes." One day, I was playing basketball, waiting for her to drive over to my house to have a game with me. Suddenly, I got a phone call. It was her mom. She was in a panic. I couldn't quite understand what she was saying. It sounded like, "Aaron, come quick! Kelsey, accident, Main Street! Blood. Come now!" I had no clue what happened, so I ran to Main Street with my basketball shorts and a tee shirt on. I saw Kelsey's mom helplessly crying, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. I saw a totaled car, blood everywhere. Then I saw her, Kelsey. My heart stopped as I frantically ran over to her. "Kelsey? Kelsey!" She was unconscious. I started crying. I know it isn't very manly, but I couldn't help it. Before I could say anymore, the medics took her away, the main source of blood coming from her head. I went to the hospital that night, I went every night. in fact, the only time I left was to go out to eat, but that's it. The doctors tried getting me to leave, but I refused. It was all my fault. If it wasn't for me, wanting to play basketball with her, she wouldn't be going through this. It was already four days, and she hasn't woken up. On the fifth day, I saw her eyes gently open. "Kelsey?" I called. She wasn't quite awake yet. Suddenly, doctors came rushing in, telling me I had to wait outside. I did, for a few hours. One of the doctors finally came out saying, "I understand that you're Kelsey's friend, Aaron?" "Yes," I whispered. He bit his lip. "She woke up, she's fine, but I'm afraid she has long term memory loss." "Are you serious?" I almost shouted. "I'm afraid so." I didn't meet his gaze. I couldn't. I wasn't going to say anything, so he spoke again. "You can go see her if you want, but she doesn't remember anything, not even her mom." I walked in, trembling in horror. I saw her. She looked helpless as she slept. I waited a few hours, until I saw her eyes opening gently again. I expected doctors to run in, rushing me out. Instead, she looked me straight in the eyes, and whispered, "I don't know you, but I like your eyes."
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, & stays on purpose.
When guys get jealous it's kinda cute (': When girls get jealous World war III is about to start.
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