So i didn't really want to make this post.. but because i

So i didn't really want to make this post.. but because i guess it can't cause any harm?
here it goes..

I hate my life. I have a best friend but i'm scared i'm not her best friend. I don't know why i think like that probably because in the past i've been screwed over in the past by my former friends. Airanna and Sam made it feel like a competition.. even though i brought them together. F*ck. I have been pretty much starving myself this past week because i want to be skinny. I'm not pretty. I'm insecure. I'm fat. I'm not athletic. I can't sing even though i want to. I have horrible hair. I don't have good clothing. My dad yells at me constantly this past week. F*ck my life. I don't want to cut or burn myself, but i want the pain to go away so instead i wear hairties everyday and rubberbands and snap them constantly... i wish my friends would notice.. i don't want attention i just want someone to care. This past month all i do after school is go up to my room and listn music and yell at the top of my lungs nd cry. No one notices though, why would they? I'm nobody and worthless. My crush doesn't like me.. why would he? I wouldn't. I try and change for him but still not even a little conversation from him. I guess theres nothing else to write.. thanks for reading i guess. I'm awkward i really don't knwo what to say anymore.. :L