Vent Quote #5963778
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Im sorry for being myself.

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codysimpson4eva

posted July 5, 2012 at 10:58am UTC tagged with vent

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just know that i tried my best. you think i'm heartless and cruel but all these things you say i learnt them all from both of you. i was never the favourite kid. i must have kept a strong streak in second place. how could you both make me feel so great yet insignificant? just know that for the longest time i was living for you. grades, friendships, barbeques...somehow everything was to make you proud. i was hanging onto every compliment, why is it that i could keep count? when i drew the line. no, when you both forced me to build this wall, it was also for you. how many things did i keep from you? how many nights did i wish that you weren't my parents? how embarassing at my big age i still feel stuck in this place. just know that i was trying my best. i didn't respond but still paid all your bills well before the due date. if i was no longer the quiet kid who did well on their own, then now i was the distant adult who you could still depend on. it's so painfully superficial, my heart can't find rest. you adored the others for merely existing yet scorned at me for failing tests. i'm sorry for my past self who fought so hard. surely i could forgive myself for throwing in the towel. surely they won't notice i've given up on them now.
then i ran to my safe space and loved him harder. the enemy of my enemy, i call him my lover.
One AM Holds many secrets... Many emotions... Many regrets... And... Much love. One AM When you truly at the deepest self.
May you never be the reason someone who loves to sing, does not anymore. Or why somebody has dimmed themselves as to not blind you. Or why somebody who always spoke so wildly of their dreams and excitements, is now silent about them. May you never be the reason for someone watering themselv down, giving up on a part of them, because you were demotivating, non appreciative or sarcastic about them. May you never be that cold.