Dear Hannah,
I see
your blue eyes, every time I close mine. You make it hard to see.
Because nobody knows what it's like to be the "Bad
man", to be the "Sad man" , behind blue eyes.
You're so innocent, too innocent. There's so much behind
you, so much that I may never know . But I am here, on a journey,
on an adventure, to find the reason behind those eyes. To find
the lies behind those eyes, to find the truth behind those eyes.
And I know there is something there, because there is no
emptiness in your soul. From the moment I met you, to now, I am
in awe. Not knowing things would turn out this way. God took a
twist, a twist through fate, through destiny. You know what they
say, "God works in mysterious ways". And even though
one said that to correspond it to death, there is no death here,
is there? We're both alive, alive and breathing. What a mask
were wearing, because even though we're alive on the outside,
we're dying on the inside. Why are we dying? Well, we were
put here to figure that out. Just now, the song "You Found
Me", came on. I just chuckled because it's wrong. The
message left from the song, isn't correct, not in this
situation. "Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me,
lying on the floor, Surrounded, Surrounded. Why'd you have to
wait? where were you? Where were you? Just a little late."
Isn't that funny, just a little late? You were never late,
early even, because it's never too late. Lost and insecure,
can't tell you how true that is, but I never realized this is
how I felt about myself. You did find me, and I was lucky to be
found by you. Hannah, you're the one who has let me speak the
truth. Because, just like I said in my speech, as
secrets/problems/issues, start to bulid up and stay hidden, one
will turn to beating themselves, hurting themselves, cutting
themselves. I never turned to any of that, did I? Not at all, you
know what I turned to? You, every time I had the chance to talk
to you, i'd jump at it. Because you were, still are, the
solution toall my problems, and I cannot believe I never figured
that out until now. You've been with me through the long
ride, but it isn't the end, it isn't even the end of the
beginning, but perhaps the beginning of the introduction. And I
am ready to advance to the next level. Are you? Of course you
are, because when I am ready, you're ready. I know you are
ready, because you are that other part of me. My missing peice.
But you aren't missing anymore, you've solved the puzzle,
and now, it's time for me to solve you. I have so much to
say, so much, I haven't told you yet. And i'm sure you do
as well. It takes time. And throughout this time period, is when
it'll be said. Time is free, but it's priceless. You
can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but
you can spend it. Once you've lost it, you can never get it
back. And that's what scares me, losing you. Because once
i've lost you, I can never get you back. I am not asking for
chances, because I shouldn't be making mistakes to start
with. You symbolize many things in my mind, but one of the most
important things that you symbolize is time, my time. All that
time, wasted on you, it was all worth it, and it wasn't
wasted, but earned. Our memories, will forever be cherised, and
remembered. Now let's discuss "Our" goofy smile. I
used to think it meant so much, it still does. But then I
realized, a smile happens in a flash, but its memory can last a
lifetime. My life, no matter how long, no matter how short, our
memories will never fade, and will indeed go beyond a lifetime.
“Life: a cycle. A series of events, meetings, and
departures. Friends discovered, others lost, Precious time,
wastes away. Big droplet tears are shed for yesterday, but are
dried in time for tomorrow, until all that remain are foggy,
broken memories of a happy yesteryear.” There is so much
more than that, everyone has a unique way of living, but for the
most part, this corresponds to almost everyone's life. But
they forgot a part in that quote above. It goes right in the
friends section, oh, how silly of me. They never forgot it. I
wasn't reading correctly, I should learn to read between the
lines next time. Because it says Hannah. It says so much more,
but that is the number two thing on there. Number two, you're
probably dying to figure out the truth behind that number, well
it won't be told until after I figure out the truth behind
you. Hannah, what do you think of when you hear the word
friendship? I immediately think of you. You have proved to me
that you are not only my bestfriend, but my sister. I hope I have
proved the same to you. But if not, I understand, but I will work
to the best of my ability to live up to that position. Friendship
marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating
into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. I'm
not saying that I don't love you, because I do, like a
brother loves his sister. You are and will always be my best
friend. Lot's of people, so many, say we should date. I'm
so tired of hearing that. Do you know why? Because friendship
comes before a relationship. And friendship that flows from the
heart cannot be frozen by adversity, as the water that flows from
the spring cannot congeal in winter. That is how strong our
friendship is. It is a responsiblity, never an opportunity. I
don't think of you as a partner, but a sister. You are that
other half to my heart. Such as twins seperated at birth, they
are the other half to eachothers hearts. What i'm trying to
say is, you will always be my best friend, my sister, nothing
more. And I know it's the same with you. Others who surround
us, I know the way they see it. I wanted to make things clear.
Friendships are fragile things, and require as much handling as
any other fragile and precious thing. Friendship, in my mind,
goes before a relationship, it is above it, always will be. The
best relationships-frienship, a relationship, where one knows the
other more than anyone else can know that person. A relationship,
where one can not only tell that person anything, but
everything.
Continued...