Story Quote #6081505
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Nobody knows how close I was to comitting suicide. February 26th,

Nobody knows how close I was to comitting suicide.
February 26th, 2012
I knew how I was gonna do it,
And I knew it would be easy.
I've came close to succeeding 12 times.
But something always stopped me.
With tears soaking my shirt,
I didn't even bother to write a note.
I told my friends goodbye,
And reached for the belt.
I put it around my neck and tied it to my door.
I laid back and watched as the darkness stated closing in,
And my face became purple.
It would have been so easy to just let it happen.
With every passing second I became more and more peaceful.
My tears had stopped,
And I was ready to be done.
But then I thought
"Who's going to find me?
Will it be my sister,
Or one of my brothers?
What about my mom or dad?
My whole family will be devastated.
I can't do this to them."
I took off the belt,
And ran downstairs to my mom,
Bawling.
I told her;
"I don't care what you have to do.
Call an ambulance,
The police,
Anybody!
I don't care!
But I am not going to make it through the night,
If I don't get some help."
She was mad.
She didn't understand what made me think this way.
All I could keep saying is;
"I want to die!"
My mom then called a suicide hotline since it was hailing,
And not safe to drive.
She then went down to wake up my dad,
Who couldn't be bothered because he had work in the morning.
He couldn't even get out of bed,
When his own daughter was saying that she was going to die.
It was quite sad.
I was then put on suicide watch,
And had to be watched by my mom for 2 weeks after.


But....
Life has gotten better since then.
March 3, 2012
I went to Winter Ball at my school.
I Almost didn't go because I had been crying all night.
I was prepared for it to be another bad night.
But it turned out to be quite the opposite.
I got all dressed up,
And I looked like a princess.
But I wanted to numb the pain.
I drank some vodka,
And left for the dance.
My goal was to be as s lutty as possible.
I was grinding with everyone.
But this guy,
Named Ben was there.
I had liked him for a long time.
And he liked me.
But he was scared that he was going to hurt me,
And told me he wasn't ready to date.
So we stopped talking.
And as soon as I saw him,
I didn't want to be with anyone else.
I was persistent,
Eventually I got him to dance with me.
And we didn't let go of each other for the rest night.
At the end
I looked at him and asked
"Are you still not ready to date?"
He said;
"I don't know. Do you still want to date me."
I said;
"Yes!"
And he said;
"Okay, Will you go out with me?"
And I said;
"Yes I will (:"
And everyday since,
Hes given me a reason to look forward to tomorrow.
He's built me back up,
And fixed my shattered heart.
And he's right there fighting beside me.
I Love him,
And will marry him someday.


And my point to this story is;
Things may never be perfect,
But it does get better with time.
So you should stick around to see it.


37 Comments

shadysback 1 decade ago
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lol what happens when he dumps ur sluhtty asss. then what? you'll "kill" yourself again?
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gray22 1 decade ago
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this just made me cry, i'm so glad you didn't do it.
you are an isnpiration weather u think it or not, you r amazing! stay strong! x
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kathycat12 1 decade ago
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girl, u r sooooo strong! this is SUCH an inspiration :)
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xocheerxo88 1 decade ago
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neverr let any bodyy lett you downn<3 stayy strongg<3
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Forever_Alone602 1 decade ago
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this is so inspiring, thanks for giving me hopeā™„ im so happy for you!
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[deleted] 1 decade ago
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I'm so sorry you ever felt that way. But I am glad you realized that life is precious. I wish you all the best!
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shediedfromPERFECTION 1 decade ago
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That's so inspiring :)
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dancer98 1 decade ago
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But feb 26th is my birthday :)
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Ashleigh_joy 1 decade ago
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this is a happy story don't get me wrong ... but don't make this boy your world. i know you love him but obviously you have a history of depression and if he leaves your screwed because you made him your everything and if he leaves ..you'll be left with nothing and you're going to be stuck in the same situation as before yo don't need a man to make you happy. you have to learn to be happy by yourself.
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secrets_truth 1 decade ago
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This is like, the happyest story of my life time, thank you for sharing it because I think that it will inspire people who do want to die and It hink it will show them that lifee will turn around that sometimes life does get better and I'm very happy for you! I hope you stay with that awesome person for the rest of your life and I hope that you will never try to kill yourself again. :)
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HoldMySecrets 1 decade ago
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It only takes one person to turn it all around.(: Glad to hear you're doing well hun! :)
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omgparamore 1 decade ago
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Stay strong <3 People like you give everyone hope.
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anonymouslover_ 1 decade ago
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ur suc a strong person :)
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xxoliviaxx226 1 decade ago
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feb 26 is my birthday!
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[deleted] 1 decade ago
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wait, but some things are perfect.. LIKE THE MOMENT I WAS BORN! *pun*
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[deleted] 1 decade ago
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You are strong, like an elephant. Stay strong girl, stay elephant. You can get though nnnyything!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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Imperfectedmuffin 1 decade ago
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GLITTER
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timraandnicole 1 decade ago
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I really love this story(: it just goes to show you that every dark night comes a brighter day. You're an inspiration(:
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kiwi* 1 decade ago
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I almost cried reading this.. but I haven't been able to cry for MONTHS now..
This is so inspirational. I'm definitely going to follow you. No matter what. You are an inspiration to many people now. (:
I am so happy for you!
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Jasminekaybutterfly 1 decade ago
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I am so glad I've inspired so many people!(: this is why I haven't left witty.
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