i have a perfect life. i have a great, loving family. my parents

i have a perfect life. i have a great, loving family. my parents are together and in love. me and my brothers and sisters fight but love eachother two seconds later.  i go out with my friends every weekend and have fun.  but sometimes i feel like this life is not for me.  sometimes i wonder why it is taking me so long to kill myself.  then i think that if i killed myself it would just be selfish and people would judge me... more than they judge me now. i just don't know.